


Black Diamond

by sohypothetically



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 10:15:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1854307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sohypothetically/pseuds/sohypothetically
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss Everdeen is the best ski instructor on the mountain. When a raging storm causes an evacuation of her mountain, she finds something unexpected on the slopes – an unconscious Peeta Mellark. They are forced to find shelter and learn to trust each other again in order to fight the elements and an unexpected threat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black Diamond

**Author's Note:**

> Black Diamond: A ski slope with a black diamond rating is said to be one of the more difficult slopes relative to others around it. (wisegeek dot org)

 

_I do not own The Hunger Games._

## The Summit

 “Katniss to Effie, over.” Katniss Everdeen paused to survey the area, radio in one hand. The mountain in front of her, normally so serene and comforting, was a mass of swirling, blinding white snow. Katniss had grown up travelling its face and learning every nook and cranny and tree. She was going to need that knowledge to find the tourists who might have defied the safety advisory and stayed on the slopes.

“Katniss, this is Effie. When you’re done with your last sweep, head back to the lodge. It’s getting ugly out there. Over.”

“Roger. I’ve got one more spot I want to clear. It’s where the tourists stop to catch their breath on the Lunatic Fringe. Then I’ll be down. Over.” Katniss knew she was being rude staying out a little longer and that it would probably annoy Effie. She was tired and hungry, so she ignored the pang of guilt she felt.

Katniss heard a new voice come over the radio. “Roger. Get down here as soon as you can, sweetheart. Effie’s not joking around: news channels say this is going to be the worst storm of the season. Over.”

“Roger. Haymitch? I thought Effie was coordinating the evacuation of the mountain? I’m checking something out on the Black Diamond run.  I’ll be down as soon as I can: ETA about 25 minutes. Over.”

“Roger. But stay in touch. Visibility is already shot and you’re not Ski Patrol. There’s not much you can do, anyway and I can’t have my best ski instructor getting hurt. I’ll have Sae get some hot chocolate going for you. Over.”

“Roger. Katniss out.”

Katniss clipped the radio to her belt carefully. She pulled her ski glove back on, reseated her goggles and returned to scanning the mountain for stragglers as she slowly made her way down the trail. The snow was a thick, wet blanket, making turns treacherous. That fact, combined with limited visibility and heavy winds, meant that Katniss’s descent was very slow going.

She reached the copse of trees a third of the way down the Black Diamond trail. The locals called the flat piece of land the Meadow because it was home to a grouping of small trees and some beautiful flowers come the Spring. Right now it simply provided some shelter for Katniss to reseat her backpack and scan the mountain with binoculars in the waning, gray light of the storm.

_There. What’s that lump? A Tree_? _A body?_ Katniss’s blood suddenly hummed with adrenaline. She knew that there wasn’t a bush in that location. She bent her body into the wind and used her ski poles to make her way toward the lump, all thoughts of hot chocolate and getting off the damn mountain gone.

\--o—

_What do I do now?_ Katniss thought. She had slowly dragged the lump, which had turned out to be a large and unconscious person, into a cave she knew deep in the Meadow, a thousand yards off the trail. That would help shelter them from most of the wind screaming down the mountain like a banshee. Visibility was gone completely and the falling precipitation was a mixture of ice and snow. Those combined factors were going to making getting down the mountain safely almost impossible. She was going to have to radio in her location and hope that Haymitch could get up the mountain to get them, which meant that she would have to put up with his snarky comments about how she couldn’t take care of herself.

She sighed, reaching to pull off her glove and unclip her radio but grabbing only the empty karabiner.

_Fuck. Where is it?_ Katniss was sure she had clipped it securely to her belt earlier. Sparing a glance at the inert form on the floor, she made it to the mouth of the cave and glanced out. The wind was whistling past like a freight train, the snow and ice nearly horizontal. It would be almost impossible to travel more than 5 feet from the location and not get hopelessly lost.

_That damn radio could be the difference between life and death,_ Katniss thought grimly. _Think. If you can’t get help, what else do we need?_ Unclipping her skis and stacking them inside the entrance, she quickly tugged on her glove and scoured the area just outside the cave mouth for small sticks to use as kindling. Perhaps they could build a fire, but they needed dry wood to make that happen. She laboriously dragged what she could into the mouth of the cave.

For once she silently thanked Effie for her bright orange safety backpacks. Effie believed in “big, big day” disaster preparedness: each person was given a backpack during an evacuation that was fully stocked with water, trail mix and Cliff bars, a first aid kit, matches, flash light, dry socks, gloves and a thermal sleeping bag. Katniss was pretty sure that it even had an extra set or two of men’s Under Armour.  It would be enough to hopefully get her through rest of the storm safe and dry.  She would have to deal with getting them down the mountain without help once the snow stopped.

Katniss made a small fire, using some of the drier wood and moss she had located inside the cave. The wet wood she left inside the mouth of the cave, hoping it might dry. The fire immediately cheered her and made the situation seem less dire.

She finally turned to the heap of a person huddled in the middle of the cave with a flash of annoyance. _What kind of idiot stays out in this sort of storm?_  Knowing that she had already broken every rule for basic first aid by moving him, she gingerly removed his hood and goggles to reveal a shock of sun-streaked blonde curls. Her hand paused as she smoothed the soft curls off of his disturbingly familiar face. She gently touched the dried blood on his cheek and then moved to remove his gloves, laying them closer to the fire so they could dry. She unzipped his jacket slightly to check a carotid pulse and, with relief, confirmed that his pulse was strong.

She sipped some water and ate a Cliff bar while she thought of her next move. Should she clean the cut on his face? She wondered how long he had been unconscious. She tried to recall her limited first aid knowledge with little luck: her job was to race down the mountain, not fix up dumb skiers who put their own lives in danger. She wished her younger sister was there to play nursemaid – Prim was much better suited to that role than Katniss. She felt another flash of annoyance at the situation.

She heard rustling behind her and turned to face her companion, who blinked groggily.

“How are you feeling?” Katniss asked.

“Katniss? Katniss Everdeen?” Her companion said in disbelief.

\--o—

Peeta Mellark felt worse than that time his brothers had dragged him out of bed and jumped up and down on him to wake him up – an event that had left bruises for a week.  He moved his hand up to his head and then realized he was still in his ski jacket and pants. It also dawned on him that he was on a rock floor. Lastly, he also noticed that he was not alone.

He recognized that long, dark braid with a start. He doubted there could be two of those braids on the planet.

“Katniss? Katniss Everdeen?” He said, not trusting his own eyes. He watched her turn toward him and it was like high school all over again: the curve of her cheek, her tiny pearl teeth nibbling on her surprisingly full lower lip in such a way that he had to stop himself from staring and her signature scowl, now directed at him.

“Peeta.” Her terse words did nothing to dissipate the familiar longing in his gut.

He laughed drily. “What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” He had meant for it to sound flippant. Instead, it sounded flat. Desperate. Like everything else he had said or felt in the last two weeks.

“Saving your ass.” She sounded angry.

“You always thought it was a nice one.” He pointed out.

 She rewarded him with a glare.  “If I’d known it was you, I would have left you out there.”

“Thanks. I don’t doubt that’s true.” Peeta sat up, grimacing. “Do you have a first aid kit with you? And why are we in this cave?”

She begrudgingly handed him the first aid kit. “We’re in this cave because of the weather. I couldn’t get you down the hill in your condition and now it’s too bad out there for us to move. We’re stuck.”

Peeta stared at her and then laughed a harsh, dry laugh. “I’m flattered, really. If I had known that you wanted to get me alone again this badly….” When he saw her face, he added, “Come on, Katniss. Everyone knows that you’re the best skier on the mountain. There’s no way that you’re stuck. You could be down the face in five minutes.”

“Maybe if I hadn’t stopped for you… There’s almost zero visibility out there and predicted winds of up to 30 miles per hour.  We’re going to have to ride it out.”

“You could radio for help.” Peeta pointed out flatly.

Katniss shook her head. “I must have dropped the radio dragging you in here.”

Peeta stopped wiping his face with an antiseptic wipe to gape at her. “You’re kidding. Then we really are stuck here?”

Katniss nodded, not meeting his eyes. The silence was deafening, broken only by the rasping sound the cloth against Peeta’s face and the popping noises of the small fire.

## The Cave

Katniss cleared her throat. “Here. You should drink and eat something.” She handed him a water bottle and a Cliff Bar.

“Thanks. I’m starving. I haven’t eaten anything since my shift at the bakery ended this morning.” He smiled his mega-watt smile at her, the same one that used to make her look away in high school. _Don’t think about it,_ she kept her face impassive. She almost didn’t hear him when he asked, “So, how have you been?”

She blinked at him.

“Katniss, we’re stuck here. Despite having not spoken since high school, we are going to have to have a normal conversation. What have you been up to? How’s Prim? Haymitch?”

Katniss Everdeen licked her lips. Not a lot of things scared her: she knew the mountain like the back of her hand. She could ski the scariest Black Diamond trails without batting an eyelash. She had lost her Father to a heart attack and her Mother to cancer and managed to eke out a living for herself and put her sister through school. What she could not do was have a normal conversation with the man who sat in front of her. _Not after their last night together…_

Peeta sat watching her intently. Katniss registered that he was staring at her lips. _Say something…_ “Prim is fine. She’s going to college at University of Vermont, doing ski patrol up here on the weekends. Haymitch is Haymitch: a rich, reclusive drunk and a pain in my ass.” She shrugged. “What about you? I thought you’d be away at school what with your wrestling scholarship and all.”

Peeta looped his arm loosely around his leg. He would have looked relaxed if it weren’t for his blue eyes boring into hers. “Yeah. Well, I decided to hang around here. And then mom got sick, and dad needed help at the bakery…”

“I was sorry to hear about her, Peeta.” A little bit of warmth colored her voice: she knew what it was like to watch a parent waste away.

He inclined his head in acknowledgement but the line of his mouth was grim. “Thanks. She was always such a witch to us kids. But she was still our Mom, you know? I never thought I would say that I miss her.” He closed his eyes in obvious pain.

“What brought you to the mountain?  I didn’t think you ever came up here.” Katniss found herself asking the question, if only to get that look off of his face.

“I guess I needed to think.” He seemed to ponder something for a moment. A shiver overtook his body.

Katniss rushed over to him like a shot, touching his hands, then his head. “You’re freezing. Why didn’t you tell me you’re cold? That’s all we need is hypothermia.” She stared daggers at him.

He smiled sheepishly. Now that he had noticed how cold he was, he couldn’t stop his teeth from chattering. “I had-dn’t re-eal-ly no-no-ticed i-it.”

“We need to get you out of those wet clothes.” Katniss foraged in the emergency pack. “I’ve got some men’s thermals in here….What?” Katniss watched the goofy smile spread on his face. She blushed and unceremoniously dropped the thermals in his lap, then turned away to face the wall.

She heard rustling, then a low chuckle. “You can look now. You know, you always were such a prude. It’s not like you haven’t seen it before.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Mellark. There wasn’t that much to look at back then.” She could feel the heat on her cheeks that belied her words.

She finally turned to find him covered from neck to feet by the sleeping bag. She assumed he had the Under Armour on underneath. “Katniss, you really know how to crush a guy’s ego.” Peeta was rubbing the back of her neck as if she had truly injured him.

She stared at the gesture, transported back to another time when he had worn the same puppy dog expression.  _Don’t think about it,_ she commanded herself.

**\--o—**

“Katniss, come on. Stop being stubborn.” Peeta had been patiently reasoning with her for ten minutes to no avail.

“I am not getting in that sleeping bag with you, Mellark.”

“Did you rescue me just so you could let us both freeze to death? That fire is going to go out. The only way to last through the night is if we pile jackets and stuff underneath us, both get in the sleeping bag and lay on top of those layers. “

They stared at each other.

Peeta frowned. “Look, I won’t touch you. We’ll stay as far apart as the bag allows. I just want your body heat, that’s all.”

“No snarky comments?”

Peeta sighed and ran a hand to the back of his neck. “None.”

“And you’ll close your eyes while I undress and get in?”

“You’re in long underwear. What’s there to…?”

“Close your eyes, or we both freeze.” Her voice was steely.

“Deal.” Peeta dutifully closed his eyes and tried to keep his breathing calm while he listened to the sounds of Katniss Everdeen disrobing. He felt a cool rush of air as she opened the zipper, then the brush of her cooler body set his teeth on edge as she settled tantalizingly just out of reach.  He winked one eye open to find her staring at the ceiling of the cave.

“Katniss, if I promise – swear even --not to be an ass, will you come here?” Peeta was beyond exasperated. Still, he held out his arms to her patiently.

He heard her growl, “Not another living soul had better hear about this…” He was shocked into silence when she slid to rest her head on his chest. He breathed in the smell of her damp hair: she still used the same shampoo. She still fit against his like a puzzle piece. 

He rubbed her cold arms and captured her sock-clad feet between his own, all the while hoping that she wouldn’t notice how his body tightened in reaction to her nearness.

Neither of them spoke another word, each just breathing the other in.

\--o—

_(4 years earlier)_

_Peeta laughed, out of breath. “Katniss, let me get you a towel – you’re soaked to the skin.”_

_“I’m soaked? Speak for yourself! It’s not like you won the snowball fight or anything.”_

_“You cheated! You distracted me so you could dump snow down my jacket.” She heard him yell from upstairs._

_“It’s not my fault you’re easily distracted and I’m highly competitive.” Katniss said smugly when he returned, holding a couple of towels and a change of clothes for her._

_He held out the clothes, his eyes intent. “I thought maybe you would want to throw your stuff in the dryer.”_

_She loved the fact that he was so considerate with her. It was one of the things that emboldened her to do things like kiss him so she could dump a giant snow ball onto his head. It also gave her the courage to sidle up to him now, place one hand on her hip and  the other on his chest and say, “Your parents aren’t home, right?”_

_When he didn’t answer, she kept talking before she lost her nerve. ”Because I thought, since I won the fight, that we could do something special, like get out of our wet clothes and use that thing in your wallet.”_

\--o—

Peeta woke at what he assumed was the crack of dawn with a very full bladder and a raging erection.  He was not entirely sure what he had dreamt, but he knew it had something to do with the warm body pressed up against him. He groaned and very carefully extricated himself from the sleeping bag, then layered on some clothing.

Katniss was awake when he returned and looked at him accusingly. “Where did you go?”

“It’s still a mess out there. I had to…you know. I don’t think we should be doing that in the cave if we can help it.” Peeta ignored her surly tone and shook his head, letting droplets of moisture cascade onto her face. She flinched from the cold wetness.

“Is it clearing?” She sounded so hopeful.

“No. There’s at least twenty four inches of accumulation and it’s still coming down. Looks like we’re stuck here for another little while.”

Katniss struggled out of the sleeping bag just as Peeta took off his jacket. “Katniss, we should stay inside the bag: we don’t have enough wood for a fire and God only knows when we’ll get out of here.”

She motioned to his abandoned coat. “I’m just going to borrow it for a minute.”

“Ah. I get it. Hurry back, then.” Peeta said and climbed into the bag which was still warm from her body.

\--o—

_(4 years earlier)_

_Kissing Katniss was as natural as breathing for Peeta. He loved the slightly chapped feel of her lips, the taste of Cherry Chapstick evident. He loved her small hands weaving through his hair and tugging on the ends when she really liked something he did with his tongue. He liked finding all the places on her neck and ears that were sensitive. Sometimes he wondered what other parts of her might feel like skin- against-skin. It was too much to bear. So the thought of her indicating any interest in the condoms he kept in his wallet made him immediately ache. It also made him into a fumbling idiot._

_“Katniss, are you serious?”_

_“Well, um…if you aren’t interested....” Katniss crossed her hands in front of her._

_“No! God, no! I’m interested.” Peeta heard the eagerness in his voice and winced. “I just don’t want to rush you. I thought you might want to wait. I mean, I respect you...your wishes…you know what I mean.” When Katniss just stared at him, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Forget I said anything. Let’s just… let’s just go upstairs and see what happens.”_

\--o—

Peeta woke to a cold, damp Katniss sliding back into the sleeping bag. He unconsciously trapped her leg between his and wrapped his arms around her in an effort to share his body heat. The glint of something around her neck caught his eye. He reached out to touch it, drawing his hand around the fine chain to uncover the small pearl attached to a tiny antique key dangling from it.

“Is that the pearl I gave you?” Peeta’s brow furrowed.

Katniss drew it away from him and tucked it back into her shirt. She ignored his question. Instead, she flopped onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

He rolled toward her, resting his hand on her stomach. It felt familiar, resting it there. “You still wear it? Katniss, you can’t ignore me all day.” She rolled her eyes in his direction and then reverted to her study of the cave. Just then, her stomach gave a loud grumble under his hand. Peeta laughed. “Let’s eat something. Do you have any more Cliff bars? Want to split one?”

\--o—

Peeta licked his lips, trying to make his half of the Cliff Bar last. Katniss tried not to fixate on his lips.

“What’s your favorite thing at the bakery?” Peeta asked.

Without thinking, Katniss said, “Cheese buns. Especially if they’re still warm.”

“Really? I always had you pegged as a sweets sort of girl. You ate a ton of cookies that Christmas.” Realizing how that sounded, Peeta rubbed the back of his neck. “Not that you were fat or anything…” He rolled his eyes at himself. “I love the brownies. When I get out of here, I’m eating a dozen of them. I’ll bring you a dozen cheese buns too.”

Katniss spied something as his sleeve rode up on his arm while he rubbed his neck. “What’s that?”

“What?”

“That.” Katniss pointed at his forearm.

Peeta looked chagrinned. “Nothing.”

“Peeta, don’t be an idiot. Let me see.” Katniss grabbed at his arm, pushing his sleeve up his forearm. The movement exposed a small flower tattooed on the inside of his arm. “You have a tattoo?”

Peeta shrugged and nodded, trying to roll his sleeve down. Katniss’s small hand stopped him.

She asked quietly, tracing the outline, “What is it?”

“It’s a dandelion.” Peeta said, looking uncomfortable.

Katniss’s eyes flew up to meet his. Her brow furrowed. “Why would you get a tattoo of a dandelion?”

Peeta sighed deeply. “You always seemed so interested in them.” He shrugged again.

Katniss grew quiet, her eyes and hand returning to the tattoo. “Remember the bread?”

“What bread?”

“The bread you gave me.”

“You mean from when we were kids?”

Katniss nodded. “My dad had just died. Mom hadn’t figured out how to cope yet. Do you remember that winter?”

Peeta was quiet for a minute, trying to recall something that far back. “Wasn’t it brutally cold?”

“Yeah: cold and gray, but no snow. I remember people saying the sky was too frozen for snow. I hated that winter because I thought that my dad had died and taken the sun with him. And then I got this package in my locker one day -- a small loaf, still warm. It had cinnamon in it.”

Peeta interrupted, as if recalling a faraway memory, “It was cinnamon streusel topped apple bread.”

Katniss shot him a quick glance. “It made my locker smell like heaven. I left it there for a whole day, afraid to eat it, just hoping the smell would keep.”

Peeta laughed. “I worked so hard on that bread. Please tell me that you ate it eventually.”

“Of course. The next day – the day after the bread -- was unseasonably warm and all the snow melted. I took the bread home and Prim and I ate it. And the day after that, the sun was out. I spied a dandelion on the playground. It was the first one of Spring and I remember thinking that it was a sign not to give up hope.”

She looked at his arm and the orange of the tattoo. Very quietly, she added, “They always remind me of you.”

Peeta looked at her intently. “I remember you on the playground. I wanted to talk to you so badly because I had such a crush on you.  And then you looked down and spied a dandelion. Suddenly, you were smiling. You hadn’t smiled all winter and you were suddenly smiling and I knew you were going to be alright.” He placed a hand over hers.” They remind me of you, too.”

Silence stretched between them. Why would Peeta have something that reminded him of her tattooed on his skin? She supposed it was something to commemorate a long-ago relationship, yet it seemed so intimate.  She unconsciously reached up and touched the pearl she always wore around her neck.

She could sense a change in him: the tensing of his arms, the blue of his eyes darkening like the night sky with a fat, black pupil moon. It made her draw back slightly as his hand drew upward to stroke her cheek. His eyes dropped to her lips, then searched hers as if asking permission.

As if in slow motion, he lowered his lips to hers.

Katniss felt the kiss all the way to her toes. She had tried to forget how Peeta’s mouth felt against hers: how his lips brushed first, barely a breath between them and then clung with so little pressure that they felt like the brush of butterfly wings. Katniss leaned in, opening her mouth slightly. She felt him shift, felt the hand on her cheek move to her neck as he slowly deepened the kiss and stroked her lips with his tongue. She could not help but respond, threading her own hands into his hair and tugging gently.

They finally broke for air. Katniss drew away slowly, dragging her hands from his hair to his rest on his forearms. She gingerly tugged at his sleeve to cover the dandelion and then put her hands demurely in her lap. She refused to meet his eyes.

“Katniss…”

“Don’t, Peeta. Let’s just…rest.”

Peeta struggled out of the sleeping bag.

“Where are you going?” Katniss asked.

“I need something to do. You go ahead and relax. I’m going to explore a little.”

“We should go together. I don’t think it’s a good idea, us separating.” Katniss frowned.

“Katniss, stay here. I’ll be right outside.” At her glare, he stared at her pointedly and said, “I need to cool off.”

Katniss’s eyes grew wide in surprise. “Oh. OH. Sorry.” She mumbled, face reddening.

\--o—

_(4 years earlier)_

_“Katniss, are you alright?” asked Peeta, concern evident in his voice._

_Katniss kept her eyes shut tightly, trying not to tense up against Peeta’s unfamiliar weight. She had heard that it hurt more if you tensed up. She moved her hips cautiously upward. Peeta’s breath hitched, but the stretching she felt was too uncomfortable to continue. She could feel his arms shaking as he held his weight off of her._

_She gritted her teeth and moved her hips again._

_“Katniss, we don’t have to do this.”_

_Her eyes snapped open. “Peeta, do you want to do this or not? Help me here.”_

_“What do you want me to do?” His furrowed brow belied the rock hard part of him she felt between her thighs._

_“Push. Slowly.” She hissed as she felt him surge forward._

_“I don’t want to hurt you.” Peeta looked to be in as much discomfort as she was._

_“Then stop talking. I need to concentrate.” She shut her eye, concentrating on the quiet of their breathing and the stinging, stretching sensation she felt. Was it supposed to be this uncomfortable?_

_She shut her eyes, only to open them again when Peeta asked quietly, “Can I kiss you?”_

_Katniss stared at the boy above her. His blonde hair had flopped into his blue eyes, which were wide with fear or wonder. He kept glancing at her lips, then back up to her eyes. She realized this was his first time too, and it wasn’t like she was making this any easier for him. She nodded hesitantly. Peeta scooted closer, jostling their connected hips and causing her to wince. He touched his lips to hers gently, reverently. It was Katniss who deepened the kiss greedily and Peeta followed without protest._

_She finally felt a warm and gentle easing of her frantic heartbeat. The warmth seemed to make her muscles relax and she could feel, slow inch by inch, a stretching inside as Peeta’s hips settled naturally closer to hers. Finally they could go no further, bumping against some sort of barrier. The raw feeling of invasion was replaced by an aching fullness that was impossible to describe._

_The kiss ended and Peeta and Katniss stared at each other in silence. Katniss noticed the deep blue of his eyes, his golden lashes reflecting the light from the desk lamp. He was beautiful, even with his sheen of sweat and his intense look of concentration and concern._

_She wetted her lips. “I think we’re stuck.”_

_Peeta nodded. “Yeah. I think I’ve heard about this part.” He winced. “Katniss, this may hurt for you, I think. We could stop now. I don’t want to hurt you.”_

_Katniss wiggled her hips a little, testing the soreness and ache. They were manageable._

_“Does that feel good to you?”_

_Peeta’s eyes had shut as soon as she started to move. She noticed is breathing had picked up again._

_“Yes.”_

_“Then let’s keep going.” Katniss’s voice reflected her stubbornness._

_Peeta said, “OK. Together?”_

_Katniss nodded. “Together. One…”_

\--o—

“Katniss, wake up.” She felt someone shaking her shoulder and opened her eyes.  Peeta was starting at her with concern and impatience.

“What?” She answered crankily.

“I think we should move. It’s stopped snowing and the wind has died down. I think we’re in the eye of the storm.”

“What?”

We have a window to make it down the mountain. Are you up for it?”

“But it could get ugly if it picks up. We could die out there, Peeta.”

He nodded. “I know. But we may be stuck here for God knows how long if we don’t move now. We have limited food and water, no wood to make a fire. You’re the best skier on this mountain. I’m pretty sure you can get us down to the bottom.”

“I may be the best, but you’re not – you ran into a tree! We’ll have to go slow. Do we have enough time?”

I think we’ll have about 30 minutes. We’ve got to move now, though.”

Katniss packed her gear and suited up in record time. She and Peeta exited the cave and strapped on their skis. Katniss surveyed the quiet mountain in the silver sunshine; she loved the mountain after a snow, so she took a deep breath of crystalline air. It stung her lungs, making her feel alive.

“We’re going to have to stay together. I’m still worried about your head injury. I’ll go as steadily as I can and avoid any crazy tricks. You’ll have to try to keep up, Mellark. Stay with me?” She put on her goggles.

Peeta nodded and pulled his own over his eyes as he said, “Always. Lead the way, Everdeen.”

## The Descent

“Sweetheart, where the fuck have you been?” Katniss had never been so happy to hear Haymitch’s surly greeting in her life.

“We ran into some trouble.”

Haymitch butted in, “We? Who is this _we_? What sort of idiotic tourist stays up on the mountain after an evac order is issued for the area? I swear they get dumber every year. I couldn’t even get a satisfying snowstorm buzz going with you still out there…”

“I’m the idiot, Haymitch. I’m not sure if you remember me…Peeta Mellark?”

“You’re one of the townie kids…from the bakery, right?” Haymitch’s eyes narrowed. “Wait a minute. Weren’t you the one who banged Katniss in high school?” 

Neither Katniss nor Peeta answered him.

“Whoa-hoa. Boy, you either have frosting for brains or balls of solid steel keeping her out in this snowstorm just so you could get laid.”

Peeta protested, “It wasn’t like that. Katniss really did…she saved my life.”

Katniss looked at him, her eyes wide. If she counted getting him out of the snow, she supposed that was technically true. It suddenly made her very aware of Peeta Mellark.

Haymitch stared at the two of them. Finally, he just mumbled, “Whatever. At least you’re safe. Probably safer up there than down here anyway: damn tourists are wrecking my lodge pretending that being snowed in is Armageddon or something. I’m going to go have a drink. Sweetheart,” he motioned to Katniss, “You had better find Effie and Prim and let them know you’re ok.”

\--o—

Katniss walked out of her bathroom feeling warm and refreshed. She had stood under the hot water for what seemed like an eternity, thankful for the feel of hot water – for hot _anything_. She walked over and lit the fireplace, sat on the floor and slowly combed her hair. She thought of Prim, who had been so happy to see her. Haymitch was right, though, the rest of the lodge was like a giant slumber party. People seemed to be milling around, unshowered, using any excuse to drink themselves silly. After the quiet of the last few days, she just wanted to put on pajamas and fall asleep in a nice comfortable bed.

So what if she was going to miss a strong pair of arms around her? _Don’t think about it, Katniss. You’ve been fine without him for four years._ Who was she kidding? The fact that Peeta Mellark had not called her after their one night together – had barely acknowledged her at all – had stuck with her. She didn’t know whether the experience had just been that bad, if it had to do with the bruises he had mysteriously sported for a week afterward, or something else had happened, but she still felt like a puzzle piece was missing in order to make sense of it. She had felt insignificant for so long, but the way he had kissed her in the cave had made her want more.

_(4 years earlier)_

_“I got you something for Christmas. You have to promise me you won’t open it until tomorrow.” Peeta seemed so earnest that it made her laugh._

_“Are you saying I’m impatient, Mellark?”_

_“I’m saying that good things come to those who wait, Ms. Everdeen.” Peeta winked. “It’s late. I should walk you home.”_

_Katniss scrunched up her nose. “I don’t want to go.”_

_Peeta sighed. “I don’t want you to go, either. But my Mom is bound to come looking for me at some point.”_

_Katniss knew what that meant: Peeta’s Mom was notorious for having a horrible temper. The last thing she wanted was for Peeta to get in trouble. She sighed dramatically. “Fine.”_

_Peeta helped Katniss into her coat, then helped her down the slick front steps. They walked silently for a bit, each lost in their own thoughts. When Peeta reached for her hand, their gloved fingers intertwined effortlessly. They had only been seeing each other for a few weeks, but she was learning how easy it was to be with him. She was learning to look forward to being with him._

_“Penny for your thoughts?” He said._

_“I was just thinking about how much I love this place in winter. Look at it.”_

_They stopped walking and took in the night sky, full moonlight reflecting off the snow covered streets and sidewalks. Everything seemed coated in silver. Peeta put his arms around her. She felt safe and warm, happy. Full of hope._

_She leaned her head back. “What about you, Peeta? Penny for yours?”_

_Peeta was oddly quiet. “I was just thinking about how much I like you.” He shot her a small, nervous smile. It was so unlike him that Katniss wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tightly._

_“I like you too.”_

_“Good.” Peeta’s smile was more natural. He lifted a gloved hand to her face gently. “Because I’m going to kiss you. “_

_Peeta’s kiss was gentle and warm, patient and searching. Katniss couldn’t believe that he was finally kissing her. She tried to memorize everything about the moment: the feel of his gloved hand against her face, the taste of him, the smell of the cold air stinging in her nose._

_Afterward, they walked quietly the rest of the way to her house. On the front doorstep, he handed her a small package wrapped in Christmas paper. “Remember, don’t open it until tomorrow.”_

_“When do I get to give you your gift?” Katniss had bought him a set of charcoals and she was excited to see his reaction to the gift._

_Peeta flashed her a giant smile. “You already did.” And then his lips were on hers again._

_Lying awake later that night, she was unable to resist and tore the paper off the package. In the box was a delicate gold chain with a tiny antique key and pearl pendant. A small card with a hand printed note was also included. It said simply, “You hold the key to my heart. – Peeta.”_

She sat quietly touching the pearl at her neck and watching the fire thoughtfully when a knock sounded at the door.

“Peeta?” She stared at the man as if he were a figment of her imagination. He looked recently showered, his sweatpants and t-shirt clean and warm. He held a tray with a variety of plates on it.

“Hi. Sae gave me some food. It’s enough for an army and I thought you might be hungry. Can I come in?”

Katniss motioned him in and they sat on the floor before the fire. They ate hungrily. When Katniss got to the brownies, she looked curiously from the plate to Peeta. He had the grace to flush.

“I might’ve suggested that brownies would be awesome.”

“You charm all the ladies, don’t you?”

He bit into a brownie, savoring the bite. “All of them except you, apparently.” He countered. Finally replete, he leaned back and wiggled his toes in front of the fire. He surveyed Katniss’s room. “You’ve done well here. Haymitch takes care of you and Prim?”

Katniss nodded. “We take care of each other.”

“Do you ever go back to the house?”  Peeta asked gently.

Katniss knew he meant her childhood home. On the outskirts of town, it had been where she lived during the time they briefly dated. She had not been back since shortly after her Mother’s funeral. She kept only a few items: her family’s plant book, some photos like the one of her family together and happy that sat on the mantle, her Father’s hunting jacket and her parents wedding quilt. Prim had her own stash of things that mattered. The house and the rest of its contents had been sold, most of the proceeds squirrelled away for Prim’s college fund.

“No.” Katniss said. She did not like to be reminded of that very dark part of her past. It was the lowest point in her life, which was really saying something.

She picked at the rug.

“Katniss…I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when your mom got sick. I get it now; how important it would have been to have some someone to lean on.  I was an idiot.”

Katniss leaned back and looked at him. She might as well ask the question that had been weighing on her mind. “How come you didn’t call?”

Peeta sighed. “I ask myself that all the time: why didn’t I just pick up the phone and call you? I think I was so nervous and scared that I had hurt you or that you regretted what had happened. I told myself that I would wait for you to reach out to me. But you wouldn’t even meet my eyes in the hallway.  I psyched myself out because I had loved you for so long…By the time I thought about apologizing, your mom was sick already and you seemed too preoccupied. It was easy to believe that you didn’t need me. I should have just gone to you and told you how I felt. You deserved to be treated better than that.”

He pauses after this rather long speech. “I couldn’t even figure out why you were with me in the first place.”

Katniss gaped at him. “You’re kidding.”

Peeta shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. Katniss couldn’t help but glimpse the dandelion tattoo.

Katniss nodded to herself, as if making a decision. “Your forearms.”

“What about them?” Peeta seemed confused.

“You have really sexy forearms.” Katniss said matter-of-factly.

Peeta laughed. “Katniss, you’re hysterical.”

“I’m dead serious, Peeta. You were always nice, popular, dependable Peeta Mellark. Everyone thought the world of you. I had a huge crush on you but I couldn’t even look you in the eye. Remember your wrestling match? The one where you beat Scott for second place? Those wrestling outfits may be tragic, but they highlight two parts of the anatomy that you have in spades: your butt and your arms. I saw you after the match and I smiled at you. Remember?”

Peeta reached for the memory, “And I asked you out that same day. I remember that smile. I remember that you couldn’t look me in the eyes. Katniss Everdeen, what exactly were you looking at?”  

They both laughed. It was an easy, relaxed sound, like the laughter close friends share.

“That’s ok. I was always fixated on your hair. You never wore it down and I always wondered…” Peeta motioned to the hair that was spread around her shoulders.

“I’m glad we’re even, then.” Katniss’s smile was wide. “This was nice.”

Peeta nodded. “Thank you for saving my life. I’m glad we got to clear the air, too. I want you to know that I really did love you. I just…I wanted you to know that in case I don’t see you again.”

Katniss frowned. “Peeta, why wouldn’t I see you again? You said you were up the mountain to think something through. What’s going on?”

Peeta stared into the fire. “My dad…My dad has a gambling problem. Evidently my mom kept him in line for years without us knowing. Who knew three was an upside to her? With her gone, he’s been borrowing money from Coriolanus Snow.” When Katniss sucked in her breath sharply, Peeta nodded in her direction. “Yeah, it’s bad. Snow’s going to take the bakery.”

“What?” Katniss hissed.

Peeta sat up. “He’s going to take Mellark’s. There. I’ve said it out loud. We’re going to have to leave town because my dad borrowed money from some old-school money lender; we’ll be lucky if he doesn’t break one of our legs to teach us a lesson. I came up to the mountain to try to find some other ways to handle it, but I guess there are none.”

“Instead, you slammed into a tree and I found you.”

“Yeah, I guess you did.” Peeta smiled an absentminded smile in her direction, but it was quickly gone. “I just need to accept the inevitable.”

Katniss sat lost in thought for a minute. “We’ll figure something out. How much are we talking about?”

“Katniss, I’m not going to let you get involved in this. If Snow were to hurt you I could never forgive myself. There’s nothing for me here: my mom is dead, my dad might as well be. We can just pack up: no one gets hurt and no one will even know. No one here really needs me.” Peeta’s eyes shone brightly, like he was fighting off tears. His shoulders slumped dejectedly.

“I do. I need you.”  Katniss’s spoke the words vehemently. _The only person who will be damaged beyond repair if something happens to Peeta Mellark will be me._

Peeta shook his head, as if rejecting the meaning behind her words. “Katniss, we’re not even friends. We’ve haven’t spoken for four years. And way back when, we were only together for a few months. You don’t need me.” He shook his head again.

He rose to his feet, his biceps straining against the _I like big mutts and I cannot_ _lie_ t-shirt that Haymitch must have loaned him. “I’m going to go crash someplace. Thanks for the talk and dinner. For…everything. Take care of yourself.”

The wistful tone of his voice prompted Katniss to move. “Wait.” Katniss stopped him at the door with a hand on his arm. “When…when would you leave?” She licked her lips and watched his eyes drop to follow the movement of her tongue. She felt warmth spread through her that had nothing to do with the fireplace.

“We’ve got to get out of town. As soon as the weather clears, I guess.”

They stared at each other, each trying to memorize the other. Katniss’s eyes dropped to her hand resting on the dandelion tattoo. She felt a tremor echo through her at the thought of never seeing him again. _I can’t let him go, not like this._ She fought a lump in her throat as a tear splashed onto his forearm. Katniss wiped the tear away, stroking her hand along his skin. She found her hand continuing up his arm to his shoulder, bunching up his shirt in her fist and drawing him closer to her. Without conscious thought, her lips found his.

The kiss was chaste compared to that in the cave. Katniss was not sure if it was a sign of a new beginning or good-bye, but she knew what she wanted.

She whispered quietly against his lips, “Stay.”

Peeta leaned his forehead against hers. "Katniss, I want to stay. But every minute I spend with you is going to make it harder to leave."

The raw confession seemed to come from somewhere deep inside of him.

Her eyes sought his. "What if I said that I don't want to let you go?"

His reaction took her by surprise: he turned her so that she nestled between his warm body and the door and captured her lips with his. If their former kiss was chaste, this one left fire in its wake. Katniss leaned into him hungrily. His tongue stroked her lips and she was transported back to high school, hands in his hair and body rediscovering the hard feel of him tightly pressed against her. 

Peeta broke the kiss first. “Katniss…” His was out of breath and the word came out like a warning.

“Stay.” Katniss tugged his hand, leading him back to the fire. They both sat and stared at each other awkwardly.

“What do we do now?” Peeta wrapped one arm loosely around a knee.

Katniss shrugs, nervously playing with her hair. “I don’t know. Penny for your thoughts?” Katniss nervously played with her hair.

Peeta watched her hands moodily. “My dad, I guess. If I hadn’t started doing the books at the bakery, I never would have noticed the money disappearing. Katniss, I confronted him. It was horrible. He cried and told me that he wasn’t strong enough to resist now that mom was gone. He blamed it on her – that she wasn’t there to keep him in control. I’ve never seen my dad as weak. Sure, he didn’t stick up for us when we were kids, but he was never selfish.” he rubbed his eyes.

“Peeta, I’m so sorry. That had to be horrible.” Katniss shuddered involuntarily. She had never had a moment like that with her own dad.

“What’s horrible is that I used to want to be like him. He was so kind. He treated everyone fairly, or so I thought. But he was actually robbing from his own family. So who am I if I’m not like him? And if I am like him – if I can’t help myself – then what? Who am I?” The words were full of despair.

Katniss responded thickly, “You’re Peeta: you’re kind, and thoughtful. Sometimes you’re a smart-ass. But you’ve never been intentionally cruel to anyone in all the time I’ve known you. And you would never hurt your own family.”

Peeta watched her hands, which had unconsciously begun to braid her hair. “Can I?” He motioned to her braid.

“Braid my hair?” Katniss sounded confused. When Peeta nodded, she frowned but nodded in return.

\--o—

Katniss could not fathom why having someone play with her hair felt so intimate. Peeta seemed to be taking his time, brushing her hair thoroughly, then running his fingers through it. Perhaps it was because his fingers were gentler than her own, or perhaps it was because she could hear his quiet breathing but not see him. Whatever it was, the quiet of the moment felt more intense than anything she had felt in what seemed like forever. Gone was the light banter. It was replaced by a quiet that made her senses hum with anticipation.

She swore she could feel his breath hitting the sensitive spot behind her ear and she shivered. 

As if reading her mind, Peeta leaned in closely and said, “You never wore it down – your hair. I used to watch you in class and wonder what it would look like, down like this.”

Katniss laughed a little, trying to ignore the bolt of heat that travelled down her spine at those words. “I almost never wear it down now, either.”

“Then this is a rare treat.”

The word “treat” was a low sound. Katniss trembled again from the effect of this quiet and intense Peeta.

“I wanted you to wear it down…that night. I was afraid to ask you, though. I thought you would think it was weird. There’s so many things I wish I could change about that night.”

“You mean, like calling afterward?” Katniss said wrily.

“That too.” She could hear the smile in this voice. His voice dropped to something quieter. It made her lean closer to him in order to hear. “I meant that I wish I had undressed you and really looked at you. I have only vague recollections of smooth skin that smelled like flowers.”

“I wore perfume that day. I never did generally, but I remember I wanted you to notice.” Katniss smiled at the long ago memory. “I never really got to see you, either.”

“I’m glad for that. I was so in love with you that one random look could have ended the whole thing early. Talk about embarrassing…”

Katniss laughed. Peeta put his arms around her loosely. His breath tickled her ear. “You have no idea how precious that memory is to me, do you?”

Katniss’s mouth went dry. “I think every guy remembers losing his virginity fondly.”

“Oh, Katniss, it wasn’t that. Sure I still wake up some nights with the feel of you tight around me, the memory of my own trembling making it impossible to go back to sleep. The thing that will haunt me until the day I die, though, is the memory of your face. You looked defiant and scared and aroused and trusting. I remember feeling like the most important man in the world to have put that look there. No one since has made me feel the combination of thrilled and terrified that you did that day.”

Each of them gazed at the fire, lost in their own thoughts.

Katniss cleared her throat. “Peeta…do you…do you have any other tattoos?”

“Why?”

“That sounds like a yes. Would you show me?”

“Where’s the girl who turned around when I got undressed in the cave?” Peeta quipped.

Katniss could feel her face reddening. “She’s not here right now. Please?” She heard him rise.

“Only because you asked nicely.” He stood in front of the fireplace but looked remarkably insecure. “Are you sure?”

Katniss pried her tongue off the roof of her mouth, suddenly nervous. “Where is it?” She stared at the _I like big mutts and I cannot lie_ design across his chest as if it held the secret to all of life’s truths.

Peeta toyed with the hem of his shirt, looking uncomfortable. “Here.”  He motioned to his left side. “Katniss, are you sure…”

“Peeta, shut up.” She stood up. “Would it help if I took my shirt off first?” And with that, she whipped off her _Okemo Mountain Junior Ski Champion_ t-shirt.

Peeta laughed, taking in her blue camisole. “That is so cheating.”

Katniss smiled a flirty smile in his direction, which faltered when he finally removed his own t-shirt. She took in his averted eyes and flushed face before dropping to his revealed ink. _Peeta is beautiful._ She could not look away from his chest with its smattering of freckles and chest hair. She didn’t remember chest hair from before and she wanted to reach out to touch it. It looked warm, inviting. She hesitated while her eyes travelled to the artwork covering his ribs.

A field of flickering flames acted as a backdrop for a flower stalk and single leaf. The leaf, which looked remarkably like an arrow, pointed toward the front of his body. The stalk of the flower crossed it in opposition, extending beyond the tips of the red hot flames. Each edge of the three petal flowers was shaded carefully a burgundy red, the centers a red so dark as to be black.

“What is that? It’s lovely.” Katniss reached out touch the life-like leaf.

“ _Sagittaria sagitifolia_. I used to doodle it a lot in high school.” Peeta’s voice held a hard edge. “Can I put my shirt back on now?”

“You mean, you designed it? It’s..it’s art, Peeta.”

Katniss looked from the ink to his face. His jaw was clenched, his eyes glassy with some sort of emotion. She drew a lingering line from the beautiful flower to the center of his chest and rested her hands against him lightly. His heartbeat was quick and insistent against her hand. Slowly, she lowered her head and placed a kiss on the leaf slightly below and to the left of his heart. He sucked in his breath. She let her mouth linger, tasting him with her tongue and letting the warmth of his skin imprint upon her lips.

“If I take my shirt off for real, will you leave yours off?” She felt his heartbeat speed up even more and could see the muscle in his jaw tighten. His head jerked in a quick nod as if he were fighting an internal battle. That conflict emboldened her to ask, “Would you like to help me?”

Peeta’s eyes closed for a moment but his hands found the edge of her camisole and helped to pull it over her head. Katniss fought off the urge to hide: she wanted to be seen. When she was as naked as he was, his eyes devoured her but his hands stayed on her waist.

She stepped forward until they rested skin to skin, feeling the way his hands and arms resisted her forward movement. She looped her arms around his waist to counter his resistance. She drew her head closer to his chest, savoring his warmth and the smell of soap. His skin was soft, but she could sense the taut muscles just below the surface. Her eyes once again dropped to his chest and she kissed him wetly on the skin she could reach.

His hands flexed against her and stilled.

Katniss drew her arms up around his neck and leaned inward. She placed a kiss just below his ear, gently bit his earlobe and whispered, “Do you ever think about a do-over?” She heard the raspy catch of his breath, felt him harden in response.

“All the time.” He said quietly.

He surprised them both by removing his hands from her waist and stepping away from her. He ran them through his hair as if trying to regain perspective. “Katniss, we don’t have any ….”

She interrupted, motioning to her bedside table. “I’ve got it covered.”

There was a tense moment where Katniss was positive he was going to leave the room. Time seemed to stop. She watched him carefully: the way his eyes darkened to the blue of a night sky, scanning her face as if he was a hungry predator on the hunt. He seemed to find an answering hunger on her face.

“Floor or bed?” He growled.

“What?” Katniss was having trouble concentrating on anything but his lips.

“Fine. Floor.”

## Rest

Peeta tugged her hands downward until she was sitting on the floor. He kissed her languidly, slowly easing her backward onto the pillows he had gathered from the bed. His fingers tangled in her hair, caressed her neck and lightly traced the sensitive outer swell of her breast. Katniss could feel the giggle building inside of her, especially when Peeta’s lips followed his hands to nuzzle her. She arched into his kiss at the same moment the giggle burst from her throat.

“What?” Peeta seemed confused.

“I’m, I’m so-orry, Peeta.” Katniss tried to get her laughter under control. When she saw the look on his face, a fresh peal of laughter formed. “I ca-an’t.” She breathed. “Too ticklish.”

Peeta considered her quietly. “Were you this ticklish before?” He casually brushed her breast with the backs of his knuckles.

Katniss smiled, finally catching her breath. “Yes…yes. I remember being terrified that you would hit a spot that would make me laugh.”

Peeta gently palmed her breast, making her groan. “So what’s going to get you past this, Everdeen? I don’t want to be afraid to touch you without you laughing at me.”

Katniss looked at the intent expression on his face: Peeta was being serious. “Um… well…how about if I touch you instead? That might stop the giggles at least.” She stared at his chest. _Yes. That would definitely distract me._

Peeta nodded and Katniss leaned over to run a hand along his tattoo. She replaced her hand with her lips, letting her hands drift lower to dip below the waistband of his sweatpants. She licked his navel, loving the way the muscles of his lower abdomen jumped below her hands and lips. She discovered, to her unending delight, that he was not wearing underwear as she pushed his sweatpants down his hips and tasted each hip bone;. he tasted of soap and warmth and some indescribable taste that was simply Peeta. Her fingers brushed and lingered against him and she loved the sight of his muscles tensing.

“Katniss?” Peeta’s head was thrown back but his hands were reaching for her.

“Mmmm?” Katniss continued her leisurely tasting, making a slow path to where her hands cupped him. She loved the feel of him, hard and unyielding.

“Katniss.” Peeta’s hand cupped her face and stopped her progress. “This is my do-over too, right? And what you’re doing…God…what you’re doing is…Well, if this is the last night I ever spend with you, I want to make it last as long as possible.” He stared at her, not a trace of laughter in his blue eyes as he memorized her face.

Her smile died under the intensity of his gaze. She let him guide her back to the pillows. When she raised her arm above her head, Peeta noticed a bruise on her upper arm and he traced it with his finger.

“What’s this?”

“From dragging you, I think.” She shrugged.

He kept his eyes on hers as he leaned down and nuzzled the spot, kissing it reverently. It was as if he was apologizing with his mouth, making up for being so much trouble to her in the past. Katniss swore she felt her heart break at the poignancy of the moment. His mouth wetly traced up her arm to her breasts. He mouthed her as if she were an ice cream cone, taking as much of her as possible in his mouth and licking around the tip. Katniss sighed deeply. She felt him laugh against her skin.

“I told you, Katniss. I’m going to take my time.”

“When does it get to be my turn?” She turned to him and ran a hand down his chest.

“When I’m done. Which may be never.” Peeta dropped his eyes to where his hands rested on her hips. He pulled the pajama bottoms off and eyed her black boy shorts appreciatively. Then they too made their way to a growing pool of clothing behind them. “You are beautiful.”

Katniss made a sound of disbelief and Peeta turned to her with a hard look that brooked no disagreement. “You are.” He ran a hand from knee to hip, rubbing her skin. He dipped his mouth to kiss her waist and then trailed his lips to her the swell of her hips. Katniss’s hips arched as his tongue tasted her there, her hands tangling in this hair.

 “You have stubble.” Her voice was filled with wonder at the sharp rasp of him against skin. “You didn’t before. I…I think I like it.”

Peeta nudged her legs further apart and was suddenly between them, looking up at her. “Katniss, you’ll have to tell me what you like.” He moved one leg further aside, running his hand up the back of her thigh possessively.

She understood what he was about to do – could feel the jolt to her pulse in recognition. Still, she felt the need to be completely honest with him. “I…I don’t know what I like.”

His eyes darkened and he lowered his head to place a kiss on the inside of her knee, then higher. She felt the raspy stubble of his beard on the soft skin of her inner thigh and suddenly hoped there would be a mark there. She wanted something to remember him, something as a mark of this night on her body. His hands slid to her and his mouth coaxed her gently into finding a rhythm she liked.

\--o—

Katniss’s head was moving from side to side and her breath came in erratic pants. Her hands gripped his hair so that Peeta was constantly aware of the tugging and pulling of them: he loved it. He loved the sounds she made in the back of his throat as he worked her with his mouth. He loved the slick feel of her beneath his hands. He especially loved her quivering beneath him, hips rising to meet his every stroke.

He was sure he could die right now a very happy man.

She was close to the edge and he could feel it. He pulled his mouth off of her just enough to say quietly, “Katniss, let go.” His fingers continued their slow, magical slide and he reached up with his other hand to palm her breast gently.

She shook her head. Her voice was a desperate cry, a pant of need. “No. No. I don’t want to. I want you inside of me. I can’t.  I don’t know how… Don’t make me...” He watched the reflection of the blaze on her face, felt the rapid beating of her heart under his palm. He kept up a lazy, insistent stroking as he felt the tremors inside of her. Despite her words, he felt her fingers tug his hair toward her but he held back.

“Yes.” She made a noise in the back of her throat at the word. “Yes, Katniss. You’re going to let go, just like this. And I’m going to taste you while you do. I can feel every inch of you and I love it. Do you know how tight and wet and warm you are?” He growled. He added another finger to the first and lowered his head. He licked gently once, then twice, then sucked lightly. All the while his fingers slid into her irrevocably.

She panted his name once, then twice; a plea or swear, he wasn’t sure. He felt her fly apart beneath and around him, felt the tensing of her thighs and grip on his hair as she rode out her pleasure with a moan. The feeling of her around him; the smell, taste and straining of muscles was so intense that Peeta was close to the edge himself.

He took in her face, replete with pleasure and wished he could capture this moment forever.

\--o--

“Wow.” She caught her breath and said quietly “Can I return the favor?”

Peeta shook his head…”Katniss, you don’t need to…”

“I want to.” She tugged his big body up and onto his back, pulling his pants off.

“I’m…I’m too sensitive right now. That was…that was incredible. One touch from you and I will just…” He made an exploding gesture with his hands.

Katniss considered him in the firelight and nodded. “Ok. I think I have an idea. Lay on your stomach.” At Peeta’s surprised look, she added, “Trust me. I think we can both use some time to cool off.”

While he arranged himself on the blankets and pillows, Katniss headed to the restroom and returned with supplies in hand. She paused to study a naked Peeta Mellark lying in front of the fire. His hair was remarkably tousled, his body strong. Even his feet were beautiful. She wanted to trace every freckle, discover every sensitive spot. He turned to look at her when she sat next to him.

“Hi.” He said quietly.

“Hi.” She smiled shyly. “I thought I would give you a backrub.”

“That would be nice.” He smiled.

“It lets me get my hands on you. Finally.” She gave him a cheeky grin and did just that.

His skin was warm. She outlined the freckles on his shoulders, traced his spine and then followed her hands with her lips gently. She could just spy the edge of his tattoo under his arm and nuzzled it. Using a little bit of baby oil, her hands kneaded his shoulders until she felt them relax and become malleable. She worked her way down each arm, paying special attention to his hands.

He groaned. “That feels amazing.”

“Mmmm. So do you. Relaxed?”

“Yeah.”

She used some more oil on her hands and placed them at the base of his spine. “You have an amazing back. I left that out when I talked about your other great features… but it’s so strong.”

He gave a muffled laugh. “I thought you liked my butt.”

“Oh, I do.” She worked her hands down to that particular feature, kneading lightly and tracing her oiled fingers to the inside of his thighs. She rubbed small circles on his hamstrings then traced again where his thighs met his body. Slowly, her fingers glided lower until she had almost reached him.

“Katniss…” He no longer sounded so relaxed.

“Do you trust me?” Her voice was low as her hands placed gentle pressure on the inside of his thighs.

There was no hesitation. “Of course.”

“Then spread a little for me.” Katniss poured more oil on her hands as Peeta spread his legs wider.

She ran her hands over his back and then slowly down the inside of his thighs. Reaching around and underneath, she grazed him with her oiled knuckles. He was silky and already hardening from the brush of her fingers. Her strokes made him groan. He gasped as she alternated caresses to his thighs and direct attention as she ran her palm over him. She reveled in the undulating of his hips toward her hand.

Finally, she coaxed him to roll over and took him in her mouth. His hips surged forward as she gripped him in her hand and tongued along his length. She ignored the taste of baby oil, concentrating instead on the sudden pressure of his hands on her head and the taste of him as she licked and sucked. She loved when his hands tightened in her hair and her name erupted from his lips.

\--o—

Peeta was half asleep. Every muscle in his body felt relaxed, replete. He could not imagine a more amazing night with a more amazing girl. Even if the future looked uncertain, he was so happy that fate or the odds or whatever had brought him to the mountain – to the cave – and to Katniss Everdeen. He stroked her hair, wondering if she was asleep.

“You know what would be great right now? Tea.” Katniss said sleepily.

Low laughter rumbled in his chest. “Tea? If you don’t have a teapot in your room, you’re out of luck: I don’t think I could move if I tried. I may not be able to move _ever._ ”

Katniss’s laughter echoed his but her voice was full of something steely. She tightened her arms around him when she said, “Good.”

“I really want to swoop you up in my arms and carry you to the bed.”

“Not gonna happen though, huh? Do I need to drag you there instead?” Katniss turned to look at him.

“Maybe.” Peeta groaned as they both sat up. They gathered their things and made their way to the bed.

\--o—

Sometime during the night, Katniss woke to the sensation of someone gently rubbing her back.

“Peeta…” She murmured as she pressed her body more firmly up against his. She kissed her way up his chest to his lips. One long, wet and leisurely kiss later, they were both much more awake. Katniss explored as much of him as she could reach with her hands and lips, until the sounds of their soft sighs and the crackle of the fireplace were competing sounds.

They made love slowly, rocking into each other. The tension built as their learned each other. After release came in gasping waves of pleasure, they wrapped around each other to greet new dreams together.

## Dawn

Peeta woke while the first light of dawn streamed through the curtained windows. Based on years of seeing the sunrise, he could tell that the day would dawn sunny and bright: the storm had passed. It was time for him to put his plans into action. Despite wishing that he could stay here, with Katniss, forever, the countdown was already ticking down to when Snow would take action against him and his father.

He took a long and lingering look at the girl beside him. Her hair flowed in a tangled mess onto the pillows, only one side of her face visible in the dim light of the promised dawn. He wanted to brush her hair back, wanted to feel her stir next to him – under him – one more time. He loathed the thought of waking her and providing explanations, of falling apart in front of her as he told her his still-solid plans. Now, more than ever, they couldn't include her.

She had called it a do-over. It was certainly that for him. He wished that all the pieces of his life could afford him the possibility of something more permanent. He would go back, listen to his witch of a mom when it came to her rants about his dad. He would get his dad the help he needed. He would call Katniss and help her through her mom's illness. He would become the man then that necessity was forcing upon him now. It would have been the only way to avoid the impossible choice that he faced in the dawning sunlight: Katniss or his dad? One he needed more than air, the other he could not face leaving to own up to Snow alone. What kind of man would he be if he did not help his own father? He could not drag Katniss into this mess, could not risk her getting involved and hurt by his family's poor choices. No matter how much he wanted to stay with her.

He felt her stir next to him, felt her hand reach for him under the warm covers. He watched the groggy moment when she realized that he was sitting up and pushed herself onto her knees as well. Her hair was liquid down her back, her skin was flushed, spots of it marked by his beard from the night before: she had never looked lovelier. How could he turn away? It was impossible. He wanted to grab this moment, this beautiful girl rising up to sit in his lap, the golden light, and paint it - live in it - forever.

"Good morning." She said in a rough morning voice.

He turned toward her, drawn to her as he had always been. "Good morning." He murmured as he brushed her hair back. His eyes searched her face as he tried to imprint it on his memory.

As if sensing his desperation, her hands brushed his face. All conscious thought fled when her mouth met his. Seeking and gentle at first, he could not pinpoint the exact moment the kiss deepened into a more desperate, but no less languid, dark need. She shifted on his lap. He wanted to ask if she was sore, if maybe she would allow him to touch her again - just once more - when her small hand closed around him.

She stroked him. His hands could not resist making their own paths on her skin, learning new territory. Every hitch in her breathing was a gift to be treasured in the days ahead. He found his own desire echoed in her warm wetness, in the clinging of her lips and hands to his shoulders, in the gasp of her breath as he suckled gently.

It was Katniss who reached into the bedside table. Katniss who sheathed him in the condom, making even that act one of pleasure and not of necessity. She straddled him slowly, easing herself toward him until they were joined completely. He tried to catch his breath at the new friction and depth.

She steadied herself with a hand on his chest and hissed, "I need a minute."

"Take as much time as you need." Peeta took in her flushed face, the peaked nipples, the quivering of her taut thighs. He wanted to touch her everywhere. He wanted to stay like this, with her, for eternity. He closed his eyes. When he felt her flex around him, his own body answered with a hardening surge. She did it again, this time on purpose and his head lolled back with a soft groan.

"Katniss…"He cautioned her. Even without her moving, the familiar ache for release was building. She had just that effect on him.

"Shh." The harsh sound of her voice had him opening his eyes to find her studying him. "I'm feeling you." He felt her grip around him again, this time harder. More insistent. He swore quietly under his breath.

"Can you feel that?" She asked.

He nodded, watching in wonder as a flush spread suddenly to her face and breasts. As if the thought of him feeling her body, the contrast of tightness versus soft, clinging wetness, was enthralling. He strained toward her center.

"Oh." She arched her neck and he kissed the pulse at the base of her throat. Trailing his hand up from her waist, he cupped her breast.

"Do you feel that, Katniss? Do you feel how much I want you?" He took her nipple in his mouth, hyper-aware of every nuance of the shifting friction as their bodies moved.

She gasped. "I can't…I don't normally…It's hard for me to…like this."

His eyes were intense on hers. "I think we can make it happen for you. Together. Remember? You just need to concentrate. What you do feel? No, look at me. Don't look away."

Her eyes widened as she felt him swell within her. She whispered, "You. You're…you're hard."

"That's right. Because of you. Only you. I love being inside of you. You're gripping me and I can feel every time you move, even when you breathe. It makes me want to drive into you until you scream my name. I wish I could stay like this for the rest of my life." Katniss mewled in the back of her throat.

He took her hand in his and moved it to where their bodies were joined. "What about now? What do you feel? No, don't look away. Keep your eyes on mine."

Her voice quivered with awe as his hand guided the stroking of her fingers. "I'm so wet."

Peeta wanted to groan. He wanted to flip them over and take her. Most of all, he never wanted to stop seeing her eyes this way: pupils darkened with want in a flushed and glowing face, wet lips parted in wonder. Instead, he nodded.

"Yes. Do you have any idea what that does to me? To know that I can do this to you?" He moved their fingers slightly, brushing where she was most sensitive. "I love that hitch in your throat when you like something. It makes me want to lick you here…and here." He touched her again and then moved to the buds of her breasts, plucking gently. "I love having my mouth on you and feeling you lose control."

"Peeta…I have to…to move." Katniss ground against him.

He ground his teeth, unsure if he could handle her moving without losing control. He mustered strength from his reserves and said quietly, "Ok. Katniss, I'm going to lean back on my arms a little bit. I want you to watch us and tell me what you see."

"I..I can't!" She groaned.

"Yes. Yes you can. Tell me what you see. Describe what you feel. I'm going to watch you ride me: I want us to lose control together." He watched her swallow as he slowly leaned back on his arms. His eyes lingered on her face and then trailed down her body as if he was touching her. He felt her tremble.

Slowly, she moved. She kept her hands on his lower stomach, bracing herself, alternately leaning forward and backward until she found a rhythm and angle that seemed to strike her as perfect. Her breath hitched as she rose and fell.

"You're all pink, you know. Your face, your breasts, all of you. I can feel every single inch of you slide against me. You should open your eyes and watch. It's incredible, watching what you're doing to me."

Her eyes snapped open, clinging to his face. She must have seen something she liked because her hands moved to her own thighs and her angle changed. She rose and fell, this time her eyes trained on their joined bodies. He thought he would die, watching her watch them come together. Did she feel how much he wanted this to last?

"You're…you're pink too. Practically…practically red…really." Katniss could not tear her eyes away from where her sheath surrounded him.

He only barely held back a groan: feeling her around him was one thing. Listening to her was going to drive him over the edge. He was going to hear her voice in his dreams forever.

She rose and fell again, increasing the tempo, gripping a little harder and grinding a little more on the down-stroke. Her hands moved restlessly, first landing on his lower abdomen and then ghosting up her own ribcage. They stopped short of her breasts. "Peeta…" she panted, "I want more. More."

"More?" He concentrated on her hips, then shifted slightly by leaning back and angling upward. He groaned at the feeling of being embedded so deeply.

Katniss hissed, "Yes." Her hands fell to his stomach again, back arching as her hips wiggled with the new sensation, then picked up her former rhythm. "More. Please. Peeta, I am so wet. I need more."

It was impossible to believe that he could be any hotter. If she was pink, he was sure he was the temperature of the sun, rising with every word she uttered. "Katniss, listen to me: lean back a little, that's it."

Her mouth formed a silent  _oh_  of surprise at the new angle. His eyes crept to where they were completely exposed. He could see her pink and glistening and he thought he might die with the aching pleasure he felt. She moved, arching further back until her hair trailed against his thighs and he knew he could not hold back much longer.

"Katniss…I'm…I'm going to touch you…now. I want you to do whatever…feels good for you." He reached out a shaking hand and slid it into her wetness, finding the spot that made her keen in pleasure and grip him tighter. He brushed his fingers against her with every down-stroke, rewarding her for returning to him and enclosing him fully in her softness. He knew the moment she began to lose control: one hand cupped her own breast and the other clutched at his thigh.

He felt her quiver around him and he swore her face shimmered in the morning light. Her head was thrown back, neck arched when he felt her tense around him. His hand followed her this time as she writhed through her release, eventually gripping her waist as she moved relentlessly on him.

Her eyes were hot and intense on his. Possessive. "More."

He shook his head from side to side, eyes wide as he stared at her. He could feel what was building inside of him aching to take over.

"Yes. More." She slid her hand to his and guided him back to her, shaking slightly with aftershocks as he plucked her like a bow string. When she knew he would not move it, she trailed hers back to her breast and arched back again. This time, her hand massaged her own flesh as she moaned.

Peeta felt like a man possessed. His entire world narrowed to Katniss: to her hands on herself, her voice crying out in the quiet of the morning, her hips and her warmth and her wetness. He arched his hips toward her, straining for her to take more of him, feeling the slide of her hair trailing along his thighs as she bowed backward. She quivered, tensed, almost ready to share his release. He felt her hand move and cup him with a jolt that drove him even further upward. He gasped at the extra friction.

Desperate to drive her over the edge again and determined not to finish without her, he slipped a finger over her slickness with a new purpose. He slid a finger inside her rubbing it alongside his length. He used another to lightly circle her most sensitive spot, all the while creating additional friction. He spread her apart, drove into her and surrounded her all at once.

Katniss gasped and flew apart from the new combination of sensations, taking him with her as she cried his name.

-o—

When Katniss woke an hour later, she was alone. Sore muscles protested as she smiled and stretched.  _A shower will be just the thing and then I can go find Peeta,_  she thought.

She spied the note as she walked around the room brushing her teeth. Quickly, she finished in the bathroom and reached for it. Her hands shook slightly. It was a simple piece of printer paper, folded like a child would to make a greeting card. On the front of the card was a rough sketch of a flower that looked just like Peeta's tattoo. Inside, written in a distinctive scrawl were the words,  _I carry you with me always._  It was signed,  _Love, Peeta._

_Love, Peeta._

She touched the drawing of the card, deep in thought. She booted her laptop and brought up a browser.  _What had he called it?_   _Sagittaria_ … Mumbling thanks to Google, she scrolled until she found what she was looking for:  _Sagittaria sagittifolia – often called Katniss flower, the plant is found…_

Katniss flower. Peeta had a tattoo of a Katniss flower - of  _her_. What had he said?  _I used to doodle it in high school._  Somewhere between high school and the cave, Peeta had thought about her enough to wear her on his own skin. He had never forgotten her. And now he was running away with his dad and she might never see him again.

She stared at the drawing for a moment more before slamming out of the room: she had to find Haymitch.

## Harsh Light of Day

“Where is he?” Katniss was out of breath. She had turned the lodge upside down looking for Peeta. When he was nowhere to be found, she searched for the only person who could have authorized someone to take a snow mobile off premises: Haymitch.

She found him drunk and asleep on his desk with a pool of drool extending from his mouth to the desk blotter.

He blinked at her groggily. “Good morning to you too, sweetheart.”

“…Peeta. Where is he?”

Haymitch squinted. “You mean the boy panting after you yesterday? He went back to town.”

“You let him take a snow mobile back to town? I’ve got to go after him.”

“Whoa. Whoa, sweetheart. Why? Seems you both got what you wanted last night. Why prolong the agony of a relationship? It’s only a matter of time until one of you wants to smother the other with a pillow.” Haymitch wiped out the inside of a glass with a Kleenex and then poured himself two fingers of scotch. Swishing it around like mouthwash, he made a great show out swallowing and smacking his lips.

Katniss rubbed the bridge of her nose. “It’s not like that. I need to find him – his dad has a gambling problem and they were going to leave town…”

Haymitch let out a whistle. “His dad is John Mellark? Oh, sweetheart. You are in way over his head. The boy too, if he thinks that leaving town is going to satisfy Snow. Snow’s only satisfied with one thing: money.”

“How do you know that?” Katniss asked impatiently.

Haymitch took another sip of his drink. “I’ve been up on this mountain a lot of years. You don’t get to be where I am without making a few friends and a few friendly enemies.”

Katniss thought for a moment. “Then I’ll get Snow the money.”

Haymitch choked. “You’ll _what_? Do you even have an idea of what we’re talking about here? This isn’t the time for rash stupidity. You’ve got to think this through.”

Katniss glared at him. “Do you have any idea how I can find out what he owes?”

“It’s not how much he owes: that’s easy enough to find out. You have to think through all of the implica…implica…things that might happen if you get involved.” Haymitch slurred.

“What implications? The only one I can see is that Peeta and his dad get to stay in town. Snow gets his money. Everyone wins!”

“No. That’s not how it works.” Haymitch shook his head slowly. “It’s like co-signing on a loan: once you get involved, Snow is going to come looking for you every time. And he’s going to expect that he can get to you through the boy and vice versa. In other words, you do this thing and you will have no choice but to live happily ever after with that boy. Forever. “

Her heart leapt at the thought of _forever_ with Peeta. She imagined nights wrapped around each other, waking next to him every day, laughing together…

“There is no getting tired of each other and breaking up. You don’t get to find someone new when you fall out of love. You don’t move away and have babies with some other guy, forgetting all about what happened on the mountain. You don’t walk away from this. And you put Prim at risk as well. Capisce?”

Katniss laughed. “Haymitch, aren’t you being a little melodramatic? You make it seem like everything I do from now on will be tainted by this.”

Haymitch did not even crack a smile. “I’ve been on this mountain and part of this town a long time. I’ve seen a lot of good people have bad things happen to them. Hell, some of those bad things happened to me. Sweetheart, trust me when I say that I know what I’m talking about; you do this and there is no going back. It’s as good as _‘til death do you part._ Snow will make sure of it.”

“I have to do _something_.” Exasperation laced her voice.

“No, you don’t. Let him go. It’ll be cleaner for the boy. Maybe his dad will get cleaned up if he hits rock bottom. Who knows? There are way too many lives at stake for you to be stubborn and do something stupid.” Haymitch sneered. His eyes clashed with hers.

“I’m not being stubborn. Are you going to help me? Or do I approach Snow myself?” 

 Haymitch rubbed his face. “Katniss, I am too old and too drunk for this shit. Are you hearing me at all?”

Katniss glared at him. “I _hear_ you. But I refuse to live out my days on this mountain – because where am I going, Haymitch? --  knowing that I could have done something  to help him.  I’ve got my half of the life insurance money and whatever else I’ve been able to save. I’m not like Prim, with a college future to think of. If I want to spend it, I should be able to. And I want to spend it on this.”

He sighed heavily. “Sweetheart, it’s bad enough if you’re thinking with your heart and not your head on this. Please, _please_ tell me that you’re not thinking with anything else. A piece of ass is not worth your life’s savings.”

“That’s disgusting. Peeta is not just a _piece of ass._ ” Her eyes narrowed.

Haymitch stood unsteadily. “Ok. Enough of the lecture. This talk has aged me 10 years. Let me made a few phone calls and I’ll see what I can find out about John Mellark’s debt.”

\--o—

One hour later and Katniss was back in Haymitch’s office. Haymitch was struggling into a black parka. A small duffle bag sat on his desk.

“What are you doing?” She asked incredulously. Haymitch rarely left the lodge, especially in bad weather.

“ _We’re_ making the drop. It’s all arranged.” He snapped.

Katniss looked at the bag, suddenly realizing that it contained cash. Her eyes flew to Haymitch’s.

“What did you think, sweetheart? You were gonna swap your ATM card? Pay with Amazon Prime? You’ll pay me back. Snow wants cash. Small bills. He’s going to meet us at the bakery in an hour.”

“In daylight?” Katniss wasn’t sure what she had expected, but it wasn’t a gym bag changing hands on a street in town during broad daylight.

“You have a lot to learn. The more people who see this, the better. Snow owns that town. Even the cops are on his payroll. If it happens during the day, people will understand that he controls things. It’s a warning. A reminder of sorts. Hell, he would video it and put it on Youtube if he could get away with it.”

“How much, Haymitch?” Katniss motioned to the bag. _How much money did Haymitch have at the lodge?_

He frowned at her. “Twenty five.”

“Twenty five thousand dollars?” Katniss swallowed hard. That wasn’t all of her savings, but it was a lot of it. _It’s for a good cause: it’s for Peeta._ With that last thought the shaking in the pit of her stomach subsided. She repeated it like a mantra as she put on her own jacket and gloves: _it’s for Peeta_. He was the only thing that mattered.

\--o—

They arrived at the bakery early. It seemed that everyone in town who could dig themselves out had congregated in front of the bakery or inside of it. The Mellarks were, as usual, churning out huge amounts of coffee and hot chocolate, pastries and breads to anyone who needed sustenance.

It was a hopeful sight.

Katniss walked into the bakery and was greeted by a cheerful wave from Mr. Mellark. When she asked him if Peeta was around, he motioned to the back with a questioning glance.

_So much for Peeta telling his dad where he was the last few days._ It made the weight of the duffel bag seem to double. Perhaps Haymitch was right and this was the dumbest idea she had had in a long time. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and indicated to Mr. Mellark that she would like to speak with Peeta. He motioned her past the cheery curtain that separated the inner workings of the bakery from the storefront.

She stopped after stepping over the threshold, taking in the scene before her. Peeta was in a t-shirt and apron kneading some sort of dough on the counter. Several others were in large mixers that were churning away. Each had a timer running with large red numbers counting down to when they would be ready for the next step in the baking process. The kitchen was warm, clean and smelled heavenly. Peeta himself looked exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes and the slump of his shoulders spoke of sadness; a burden too heavy to carry alone.

She had to clear her throat twice for him to hear her. When he finally looked up from what he was doing, the look he sent her was one of disbelief.

“Katniss, what are you doing here?” He looked her over like she was a figment of his imagination.

“I came to help.” She had one hand on her hip, the other rested on the duffle.

He shook his head. “You can’t. You can’t be here. Any time now, things are going to get bad and I can’t have you involved. You can’t get hurt because of me.”

“I won’t. I’m here to help you. To help us. I’m going to get Snow…what he needs.”

Peeta was angry and emphatic when he cut her off. “No! No, Katniss! I can’t let you do that. I won’t let you. You need to get out of here. You need to leave right now.”

“Peeta! _Peeta!_ ” Katniss had to yell over him. “I am not leaving you. Not now.  I’m not going to do that.”

He was breathing hard, face flushed from more than just the ovens. His voice was hoarse. “Why not?” 

She walked over to him and deliberately placed the satchel on the floor. When she rested her hand on his shirt over his tattoo, he trembled. “This is a Katniss flower, isn’t it? I’m doing this because you would do it for me. And…because I carry you with me too…every day.” She leaned forward until her forehead touched his and whispered, “Let me do this for you. Let us have this chance at a do-over, for real.”

Tears filled Peeta’s eyes and he gripped her hand closer to his chest. “Katniss… _Please_. Don’t do this. Don’t sacrifice yourself for me. Just go. Go while you still can.” His eyes held hers, even as tears fell to his cheeks.

“Sweetheart! It’s time!” Haymitch called from the front of the bakery.

She touched his face. “I’ve got to go. I’ll be back soon.”

\--o—

Haymitch walked her to the street, whispering, “Safer out here. Not so many people.”

They were greeted by several men in heavy down jackets who patted the two of them down. Katniss tried to protest when they unzipped the bag and rifled through it. Haymitch stopped her with a hand to her arm. “It’s protocol, sweetheart.”

Katniss stood quietly. Finally, a white haired man with dark eyes and strangely thick lips approached her. Although he smiled disarmingly, his eyes were cold. She shivered looking at those eyes. They reminded her of a snake’s.

“Miss Everdeen. It is spectacular to make your association.  Mr. Abernathy has said so much about you.”

Katniss nodded, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She had an intense urge to run and hide from the man in front of her.

“Such a shame about our associate Mr. Mellark: such an upstanding pillar of society. Except for this small scrape, of course. I am sure he would be ecstatic to know of your service?” His white eyebrow rose in question.

Katniss hated how small her voice sounded. “He can’t know.”

Snow turned toward Haymitch with a confused look. “…You’ve sanctioned this?”

Haymitch nodded. “The boy knows. That’s enough.”

Snow nodded thoughtfully as if filing that piece of information away. “So, shall we get on with our transaction?”

Haymitch placed a hand on Katniss’s back and gently urged her forward. Katniss opened the satchel and showed the contents to Snow, then held it out in his direction. She did not want to actually touch him, so she was relieved when one of his men took it from her instead.

He motioned for the men to take it back to the white Escalade with chains on the wheels.

“Miss Everdeen…One more second, please. It is reassuring – heartening, really -- how much passion you have for John’s son. I would not want to see something unpleasant befall him. I suggest that you keep John under close supervision, lest his luckless hobbies cause distress again. Do we understand one another?”

She nodded slowly, processing the implied threat. _If he so much as hurts a hair on Peeta’s head…_

“Excellent.” Snow hissed, licking his lips. “Such a pleasure doing business with you.”  He waved his long fingers at them both, then strode to his car.

Haymitch saw Katniss’s distress and kept his hand firmly on her lower back. He whispered, “Don’t let Snow see you fall apart. Just hold it together until we’re back in the bakery. I highly recommend you puke: it’s the usual reaction to meeting with Snow.” Katniss nodded like an automaton. The trembling in the pit of her stomach threatened to take over but Katniss held it at bay.

When the car was gone, they turned back to the bakery. Katniss saw Peeta standing on the steps watching. His expression was so full of hope, so good that it almost blinded her. He must have seen something else – something full of fear and disgust -- on her face as she stood next to Haymitch and his expression crumpled in on itself. It was like watching shutters come down over a beautiful window as she watched the light in his eyes dim and his shoulders slump. He turned into the bakery.

Katniss strode into the back room of the bakery, her unease of Snow scattering in the face of her anger at Peeta. _How dare he turn his back on her after she had helped him?_

“What’s going on, Peeta?”

If it was possible, he looked even more tired. And sad; he would not meet her eyes. “Nothing.”

She grabbed his arm. “That look on your face says it isn’t _nothing_. Talk to me. Peeta Mellark is never at a loss for words. So tell me what’s going on in your head.”

He shrugged her hand off and turned to face away from her. He ran his hands through his hair. “I can’t, Katniss. There’s too much.”

Her words were soft, coaxing. “Try.” She wanted to touch him but was afraid he would reject her again.

Peeta’s back heaved once and then twice as he took huge breaths.  When the first sob came, it ripped through her like a bullet. “I…I ca-an’t do th-is here.” Sobs were racking his body as he fled into the supply room.

Katniss gave him a moment. When she followed him, he was running cold water on a paper towel and holding it against his eyes. He was still sobbing. His voice, when it came, was almost a yell. “I asked you not to get involved. I _asked_. And you did it anyway. And you’re scared and I’m scared and now I’m scared for you. And how can I protect you when I couldn’t even figure out what was going on with my dad until it was too late?”

“I thought…you said you wanted a do over.” She sounded hurt.

“I did! I do! But not like this! Not full of fear and all wrapped up in me owing you something I can never repay and my dad making a mess of things. Why, Katniss? Why did you do this?”

Her mouth crashed into his open one in a harsh kiss. It was a kiss meant to prove a point, neither passionate nor friendly nor gentle. She needed to show him how essential he was to her. How much a part of her he had become in the brief time since they had reconnected. Perhaps it was even her way of communicating that he had always been necessary – but she was only now willing to admit it.

The kiss broke and they each tried to catch their breath.

“You know that’s not an answer, right?” Peeta said quietly. “I’m a mess, Katniss. This isn’t how I dreamt of it happening for us.”

“I would rather be with an imperfect Peeta Mellark than be lonely and dreaming about a perfect one.  I couldn’t let you disappear. Tell me that we can move on from this. We can figure it out together. Tell me you’ll stay here with me.”

Peeta nodded but worry still clouded his blue eyes.

## Nightfall

“Haymitch, do you have a minute?”

Haymitch turned from the television at the bar to face the blue eyed man in front of him. He blinked once or twice as if trying to place the face. “Ah, boy. Please tell me this isn’t about Katniss.”

Peeta blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.  “I just… I need a minute to talk to you about something.” Haymitch’s bleary look seemed to resolve into something more lucid. Not for the first time, Peeta wondered how much of Haymitch’s drunken stupors were an act.

“Let’s go into my office. I have better stuff in there anyway.” Haymitch eased off the bar stool and walked toward the back of the lodge. Peeta followed him.

“Sit. Can I get you a drink?” Haymitch asked as he flopped into the leather chair behind his desk.

“No thank you.” Peeta sat in front of the desk and fidgeted. “It’s about my dad.”

Haymitch took a drink of scotch. “Of course it is. You coming to me for money?”

Peeta looked shocked. “No! No. You’ve done enough already. You and Katniss have both done enough. It’s just that, things with Katniss have been going well. And…And…I didn’t tell her, but we listed the bakery for sale. So I could…I could pay her back. “ Peeta wiped his palms on his jeans.

“…And?” Haymitch looked bored.

“And we have a buyer. It’s a fair price too. I was a little worried that Snow would block the sale, but he’s left us alone.”

“…And? No offense, but even my good scotch isn’t making this story any better. Cut to the punch-line.”

Peeta took a breath and then another. “So…So I want to make a clean break from all of this. Take my dad and start over somewhere where we have no history. I mean, let’s face it: it’s not a high probability that the new owner will let us work there or anything. So, I thought… well…I thought that I could pay her back…and then…maybe…” He took another deep breath.

“Boy, spit it out already! You’re gasping like a fish!”

“I want to take her with me. I’m asking you…I’m asking you for your blessing.” Peeta squared his shoulders, waiting for Haymitch’s response.

Haymitch’s glass clinked heavily as it hit the desk blotter. He stared at Peeta uncomprehendingly. “Did you just say _blessing_?”

Peeta rubbed the back of his neck. “Yes.  I want to take Katniss with me and leave the mountain. Start over. You’re the closest thing she has to a father and…”

“Yeah. I get it.” Haymitch interrupted. “You kids haven’t been together that long, you know.”

“Things are going well, though. And I’ve…I’ve loved her for a long time. If I can get rid of this debt that I owe her, we’ll be even. And we won’t have to worry so much about Snow. About my dad.”

“You barely know each other. Sweetheart can be hard to take: she has the personality of a slug. And God help you when she gets irked at you.”

“I’ve known her most of my life. And I make her happy. She’s singing again. Haven’t you noticed?”

“Boy, that could just be those _sleepovers_ you have once a week. Ah. You thought I hadn’t picked up on that? I know everything that goes on in my lodge.” Haymitch paused, as if letting that sink in. “What about work? Sweetheart can pretty much ski and that’s it. Her sparkling personality won’t put food on the table. Hell, she can’t even cook.”

 “I’ll get a job as soon as we’re settled. Dad will work too. I can cook, clean, whatever it takes. Frankly, I don’t care what she does as long as she’s with me.”

Haymitch studied Peeta for a moment and then sighed heavily. “I don’t want to hear about any newlywed bullshit when you get tired of each other or angry: no letters, no emails, no texts. Got it?”

Peeta nodded.  


“Well, you are adults. I suppose I can’t stop you. Just promise me that you’ll remember how badly you wanted this the first time you want to back her up against a wall and strangle her.”

“I will.”

“Don’t even think about having me give her away at some big wedding. You kids elope. Although Effie will kill me for saying that, so don’t tell her. And your first kid: name it after me.”

“What if it’s a girl?” Peeta had nodded up until that last request.

Haymitch laughed. “ _Especially_ if it’s a girl.”

“Deal.” Peeta laughed. He stuck out his hand and Haymitch eyed it skeptically.

“One last thing. Remember that the mountain will always be here and so will I. Anything goes wrong, anything happens, you kids stick together and high tail it back here.” Haymitch shook Peeta’s hand.

“Nothing’s going to happen, Haymitch. It’s a fresh start.” Peeta’s clear eyes met Haymitch’s. They were full of conviction.

Haymitch stared at Peeta’s chair long after he left to find Katniss. He breathed an uneasy sigh and whispered to himself, “I wouldn’t be too certain of that, boy.”

\--o—

“Hello, Mister Abernathy. I was so pleased you took my call and agreed to a meeting.” Snow turned in his office chair to look at Haymitch. Although he smiled, it did not reach his eyes. “Please. Sit.”

Haymitch nodded, knowing better than to disagree; this was not a social visit.

“So. Let’s discuss Mister Mellark and his ruinous obsession.” Snow gestured to some jellybeans on his desk, silently offering them to Haymitch.

Haymitch shook his head at the snack. “How much?” At Snow’s raised eyebrow, he elaborated. “How much does he owe now?” Snow chewed a red jellybean as he seemed to mull over the question. It stained his mouth red and Haymitch count not help but think it looked like blood.

“I see that you understand the state of things.” Snow nodded. “You’ve always been astute.”

“The man’s got a problem.” Haymitch shrugged. He wanted to add _he needed help, not a bail out,_ but he knew Snow would not appreciate the sentiment. After all, problems made Snow money.

Snow considered Haymitch for a moment. “Twenty five.”

Even Haymitch was taken aback. “ _What?_ It’s only been three months.”

“It seems John has expensive taste – he likes the high stakes. I believe poker and black jack suit him.” Snow inspected the rose etchings on his mother of pearl cuff links.

Haymitch seethed. _And you let him, you fucking snake. I bet you extended him a higher line of credit, didn’t you?_ He forced his face to go slack and reached slowly – so as not to alarm Snow’s body guards – into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a large envelope.

Snow smiled a slow, predatory smile when Haymitch placed it on the desk. Haymitch held his hand loosely on top of the cash. “There’s thirty five here. I have a proposition for you.”

“John is transforming into quite an asset. I’m listening.” Snow eyed the envelope’s thickness.

“This is to cover his recent spending and a little more as a show of good faith. There will be no more after this. You should consider cutting him off and letting him go legit.” Haymitch sat back in his chair. He felt pretty good, now that all his proverbial cards were on the table.

Snow laughed and raised an eyebrow at him. “And if I say no to your generous offer? You do realize that I know of a certain purchase you made recently. A certain piece of real estate. There is plenty more where this pile of cash came from once you re-open the bakery. Does the boy know? What do you suppose he would say? Or the girl? Does she know that you are settling debts and suppressing the truth so that she and the boy might secure their future? Sacrificing the business that has been in their family for generations in the process?”

Haymitch crossed his arms. “That is not your concern. I am here to tell you that this is the last of it. Once this is gone, John will turn into a liability. It’s in your best interest to shut him down now. I imagine it will be an adjustment for him. But if I could make it…”

Snow waved his hand in the air with a flourish. “Oh, Haymitch. We both understand that you are a stronger man than he.”

Haymitch frowned. “I mean it. No more. This ends here.”

“What if I say I want it all?” Snow’s tone was noncommittal.

“I’d say you were a selfish bastard.” Haymitch shrugged. “You’ll do what you have to do and so will I. We’re done here.”  Haymitch showed himself out.

He knew better than to trust Snow, but he was at a loss as to what to do that would buy enough time for Peeta and Katniss to leave town. _They just need a little time._   _And I just need a drink._

\--o—

“I can’t believe you cheated.” Katniss laughed. She and Peeta were sitting in the lodge kitchen eating sandwiches and drinking cocoa after a morning on the slopes.

“I did not cheat.” He said it with conviction but his tone was smug.

“Peeta, you didn’t even wait for me to yell _go._ ” She smirked, thinking of how surprised she had been when Peeta had taken off down the hill without her. It had taken everything she had not to take a shortcut she knew just to prove a point and beat him.

“There was a lot at stake.”

“Oh? Like what?”

He thought carefully as he dipped a piece of baguette in his chocolate. “Bragging rights. And maybe a prize because I won.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively in her direction.

She laughed and wrinkled her nose at him. “You did not win! If anything, you should owe me.”

Peeta munched thoughtfully. “I’m game. What does the lady want?”

Katniss did not even have to think. She blurted the thing that she most wanted from him every night. “Stay the night.”

Peeta groaned. “Katniss…every time you ask that, you make it impossible to say no.”

“Peeta, one night a week can’t possibly hurt. You said that you’ve been watching your dad to make sure he stays straight during the week. Surely he can’t get into too much trouble in one night? Isn’t he going to Gambler’s Anonymous meetings? And talking to a counselor?”

“I just…I worry about him. You know that you and I have this same conversation every single weekend, right?” He frowned.

She laid a hand on top of his. “If you really don’t want to, I’ll respect that. It’s just…” Katniss leaned in and sucked his bottom lip lightly between her own. “I miss you.”

“Whoa. Whoa. You kids need to get a room before you blind somebody.” Haymitch held a hand in front of his face as if the sight of them together hurt his eyes.  He mumbled something about being relieved to have some peace and quiet in the near future.

Peeta saw the hurt ghost into Katniss’s eyes.  He leaned forward. “You know he’s just joking, right? He loves you.”

Haymitch snorted loudly. “Like hell I’m joking. You kids can’t get the hell out of my lodge fast enough. Why aren’t you down at the bakery, packing or something? Why aren’t you anywhere else but in my lodge, as opposed to kissing in my kitchen?”

“The new owner doesn’t take possession until the end of next month. We want to stay in business as long as possible.”

“But you could spend the night in town so I don’t have to risk puking up good scotch watching the two of you.” Haymitch hinted.

Katniss blushed. “It’s…quieter here.”

Haymitch crossed his arms over his chest. “Quieter? Oh. You mean I’m not hovering in the next room listening to the two of you while you bump uglies the way Mr. Mellark is? Well, you had better get used to that, sweetheart. Once you guys move that will be the norm.” He nodded at Peeta. “How’s your old man? Doing ok?”

“Yeah. He seems to be settling down.” Peeta looked down at the table.

“Everything on track for the big move?”

Katniss frowned. “You know, Haymitch, I would swear you want to be rid of me.” She took Peeta’s hand. “We’re thinking that we get the bakery settled and then maybe take another month to look for a place in Albany or Boston. That gives everyone time to look for jobs and a place to live.”

“Two more months?” Haymitch was clearly agitated.

“It seems like a better plan. Besides, there’s no need to rush, despite how much you obviously want me out of your hair.” She glared at him.

Haymitch rubbed his eyes. “Whatever happened to kids wanting to move the hell out? You kids should be looking for a place now. It will speed things up. Ski season will be over in a month. I don’t want you both hanging around even more than you are now, annoying me and making a nuisance of yourselves. And I’m sure your dad would like a fresh start as soon as possible, too?”

Peeta looked thoughtful. “He doesn’t seem to be in that much of a hurry to leave. We keep talking about it, but he says that he’s settling into meetings and stuff. I think leaving this place is a lot harder for him than I thought.”

Haymitch’s eyes flashed with something that Peeta could not place. “Yeah, well. Consider making the move a little quicker. No time like the present to start the rest of your life, right?”

Katniss was oblivious to the look passing between them. “Haymitch, you’ll just have to get used to the fact that we’re not going anywhere yet.” She put their cups and plates in the dishwasher before grabbing Peeta’s hand to tug him out of the room. “Come on, Peeta. I’ll race you – winner two out of three gets to name a prize. And this time, no cheating!”

Haymitch took a shortbread cookie from the cookie jar on the counter. He bit into it and thought, _You’re not going anywhere?_ _That’s what I’m afraid of, sweetheart._

\--o—

“Peeta, I can’t believe you cheated. Again.”

“I’m staying the night, aren’t I? That’s what you said you wanted if you won. So what if I beat you down the hill?” Peeta stretched languidly, scratching his chest. He and Katniss had spent the rest of the day on the slopes. Add in a late dinner of chicken pot pie and he was pleasantly full and a little tired. He stretched back in her desk chair until only two of the four legs were on the ground.

Katniss smirked at him. “Yeah. But that was before you cheated two more times. Now I think maybe you should just go home.”

“What if I make it up to you?” Peeta ran a hand suggestively along the length of Katniss’s braid, lingering on the end of it right above her breast.

Katniss shook her head. There was laughter in her eyes when she said, “Peeta Mellark, you may be one silver-tongued devil, but you are also a very bad boy.” She punctuated the last three words by poking his chest with a fingernail. “A very bad boy who owes me because he _cheated_.”

“Oh?” Peeta laughed. “It was just a game, Katniss. Don’t be a spoil sport.”

“Peeta, I think it might be time to teach you a lesson. You know, so you don’t cheat again.” She pushed him down on her desk chair and stood above him with her hands on her hips.

“Are you going to make me write an essay about why I shouldn’t cheat? Write my name out fifty times?” Peeta smirked.

Katniss crossed to stand behind him. She leaned over him and whispered, “Not quite what I had in mind.”

Peeta felt her breath on his neck, hitting that exact spot she knew he liked. He closed his eyes and leaned his head to the side, giving her better access .Her hand rubbed his shoulder and his muscles immediately relaxed at her touch. She worked her way down his arm to his hand, rubbing the palm, a sense of lethargy stealing over his whole body. He stretched his legs out in front of him, slumping in the seat, dropping his head to his neck. He felt her breath hit his earlobe, felt her tongue gently trace the shell of his ear and the gentle nip of her teeth. Her sudden whisper sent a jolt straight to his groin. “Take off your shirt.”

His arms tangled in it as he hastily did as he was told.

“Lean back.” Katniss kneaded muscles in his neck, working out knots from his day on the slopes. He groaned. She slid her hand up into his hair and massaged tiny circles on his scalp. “Are you relaxed?” She whispered into his ear.

He nodded.

“Good.”

His face went slack as she rubbed circles on his forehead and temples, gently touched his eyelids with feather-light caresses. She eased into his lap, straddling him. He felt her breath against his lips as her touch continued across his cheekbones and then down to his jaw. She concentrated there for a moment, rubbing the spot where he had a tendency to clench. He groaned again as he felt himself relax. Her hands traced his neck and along his collarbone lightly.

He leaned slightly forward until he could feel her lips against his. “You know this isn’t exactly punishment, right?” He felt her smile against his mouth. He drew in a quick breath when she suddenly sucked on his bottom lip with an insistent tug.

“Keep your eyes closed.” She said in between gentle kisses. He heard something in her tone, something rigid and unyielding behind the playful words. Frissons of awareness travelled along his spine.

His eyes popped open to question her request. “Katniss…”

Cool air hit his skin as she moved away from him briefly. “Peeta, I was going to ask you to keep your eyes shut. But, since you’re a cheater and can’t be trusted, I guess I’ll have to take matters into my own hands.” He felt a cool piece of fabric slide down his forehead to cover his eyes. She tugged whatever-it-was behind his head to tie it off snugly. “That should take care of it nicely. Now, where was I? Ah, let’s get the rest of your clothing off.”

He eased his hips upward as her hands moved his sweatpants and boxer briefs off of his thighs. He quipped. “Can I at least leave my socks on? It’s drafty. Or is that the punishmen…” He squeaked when she grabbed him without preamble and took him in her mouth. He groaned and ran his hands through her hair as she moved her warm, wet mouth along his length.  He felt suction, making him almost instantly hard, and then a pop as she withdrew her lips from him to let cool air dance along the moist surface. He shivered.

Her hands moved his own from her head to the chair back. “Your punishment is that you have to keep your hands there and keep your eyes covered. No moving, no grabbing, no watching unless or until I say so. Deal?”

“Katniss…” He sucked in a breath when her hands engulfed him and stroked once, then twice. He swore he felt breath against the tip of him, making him even harder.

“Peeta, do we have a deal? Are you going to take your punishment like a man?” Something warm and wet swirled around him as her hands continued to stroke. “…Or do I stop right now?”

“Don’t stop.” He pleaded. He wasn’t sure exactly what she was doing, but that just seemed to make every movement more titillating. Peeta heard her laugh quietly, a darker than normal laugh that he didn’t think he had ever heard before.  He shivered again in anticipation.

“Ok. Hands on the chair, please.” Katniss waited until his hands were gripping the back of the chair.

Cool air hit him as she moved her hands away from him. He felt a shift in front of him – she was obviously moving – and then a very light tickling sensation along his leg. Was it a feather? A cotton ball? He concentrated It was a little cool, but warmed up as it moved up his leg. It was some sort of strip – a ribbon? If he concentrated, he could feel it moving back and forth along his thigh. It was definitely a ribbon, maybe two inches wide.

It reached the apex of his thighs and he jolted as it ran long his length once, then twice. The ribbon seemed to snake around him, holding him in place and tightening slightly until it was not quite completely comfortable. He hissed in a breath as he felt the trickle of something cold – ice? -- around the tip of him. After the casual trailing of the ribbon, the cold, wet sensation made his hands flex on the chair. Another few seconds of that and he was sure that the ribbon around him was the only thing keeping him hard.

…Until he felt something warm – almost hot – dribble onto him. The contrast of cold to warm had his gasping, especially when he felt something warm and wet (a tongue?) moving along him and spreading the warmth around. He couldn’t help but reach forward to flex his hands in Katniss’s hair as he held her mouth over him and urged her closer. Her rumble of laughter vibrated through him.

“Tsk, tsk, Mr. Mellark. I knew you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself like I asked.” Katniss stood and he felt the air move with her as she walked around him. “Hands behind your back, please.”

Peeta half laughed and half groaned. “Come on, Katniss. You can’t expect…”

“Hands behind your back, or I stop. Your choice.”

It was quiet for a moment as he considered his options. On the one hand, it was a little intense and who knew what she was actually doing to him. On the other hand, he was pretty turned on just imagining the possibilities of what might happen next. So what if he didn’t have his hands? Or his eyes? He slid his arms behind the back of the chair and Katniss bound his wrists using what he assumed was the ribbon.  He tested it by pulling a little but her knot held tight.

She well and truly had him at her mercy. He wasn’t sure if that scared him or made him incredibly excited.

He felt the air around him move again but she did not resume touching him. Where was she? He heard ice clinking in a glass a few feet away and turned his head to the sound, squeaking when he felt her teeth suddenly on his nipple. She alternately nipped and sucked him into her mouth, letting her hand roam to his ribcage and then lower. Was she purposely licking his tattoo? And was that her hair against his thigh as she cupped him in her hand? Her fingers were a little cold but he ignored it because her mouth was on him again, licking and lapping at whatever she had drizzled on him earlier. He thought he could smell chocolate.  Whatever she was doing, she was ravenous and it was driving him insane. He wanted to cup her head in his hands and beg her to never stop. His head dropped backward to rest on the chair.

Katniss stopped and Peeta exhaled a shaky breath. 

He heard a popping sound, like some sort of jar opening. What was she doing now? He felt her move closer and tried to place the smell: it was reminiscent of Chapstick. Suddenly he felt her hovering over him; an odd sensation, since he could not actually see her. He just knew she was there in the sound of her breathing. Thankfully, she seemed as out of breath as he was. He felt her nose nudge his a little and tilted his head back to accommodate her lips. She wasn’t kissing him, though, she was rubbing something along his lips. He chased the action with his  tongue and licked  – cherry? – when the cool sphere was pushed between his teeth and her lips met his and clung. Cherry. Definitely. Was that chocolate on her tongue?

His mouth broke away from hers as he processed the flavors of their mouths: cherry and chocolate. Had she… had she had turned him into an ice cream sundae? He didn’t know why the thought of that was erotic, but the idea of her feasting on him _as dessert_ had him putting his head back on the chair as she gently laved the stickiness off of his lips and moved away from him. He heard her move to the desk and then a sound like her hoisting herself onto it. What was she doing?

He strained for any sort of hint but all he heard was her breathing. The quiet spun out. His heart thumped when he heard her breathing change and a small moan escape her.  The sound had him tensing and leaning forward, despite the discomfort to his arms. Was that a gasp? Was she…was she touching herself? Right in front of him? While he was _blindfolded_? He shook his head from side to side as he pulled gently at his bindings.

Katniss said breathlessly, “Peeta, you prom…promised.” Her voice caught on the word like she had hit a particularly sensitive spot.

Peeta cursed under his breath.

“I just thou…thought that I would te…tease you a little. But I th..think  I…I’m in trouble.” The sound of her shudder sent a tremor through Peeta. He had never heard anything as erotic as her low voice and the sound of her hands skimming over moist skin. He imagined what that skin felt like – what it tasted like -- when she flew apart as he listened to her little gasps. That sound alone was enough to get him close to the edge.

His voice, when it came, was hoarse. “Please. Katniss. Please let me touch you.”

“Oh…Okay.” He heard a foot hit the floor and was almost dizzy with the thought of having his hands on her, spreading her apart for him.

And then he couldn’t think at all because she impaled herself on him in a single long stroke. He thought he felt the catch of her panties against him, as if he she had pushed them to the side in her haste to ride him. He groaned as she rocked her hips off of him in a similarly long stroke.

She was killing him.

She leaned in and lingeringly kissed his lips. “Not. Yet. I’m not done with you yet.”  His head leaned back as she trailed her hands down his neck. Her lips followed, nestling the hollow of his throat before travelling to his ear. “Tell me what you want, Peeta.”

“I want…you.” He swallowed audibly. He felt hot everywhere, like his skin was too tight. Like he might implode if she kept touching him with light butterfly touches that travelled everywhere but the place he wanted, no _needed_ her hands.  “I want you to touch me.” When her hands travelled to his belly button and dipped inside it, he corrected himself. “No, not me… _me._  I want you to stroke me slowly until I can’t help but scream your name.”

He heard her little gasp. It was more of a hiccup, really; a fast intake of breath that he knew meant she ached for him too. And that’s when it dawned on him that, although his hands were bound and his eyesight shaded, she hadn’t taken his voice.  All he needed to do was change his tactics and they could both have what they wanted.

He lowered his head until he thought he was in the vicinity of her face. Hoping he was close to her lips, he murmured, “You were touching yourself before, weren’t you? I could hear you – those little gasps and moans that you make  – and it was driving me wild. Do you feel what you do to me? Because I want you.”  He wet his lips, hoping that what he was doing was working.  He could feel sweat trickling down his neck.

“Will you…will you put your mouth on me? Just for a minute? I could taste the chocolate on your lips…before. I just want to feel your tongue…on me. Only for a minute, though.” He wanted to growl when she did as he asked. “Oh…Okay. Enough.” He took a deep breath. “Now, can I feel you again? Just a little bit.”

He felt the air move again, heard the sound of a packet being ripped open, felt hands roll the condom onto him. He gasped when the sensitive tip of him was sheathed in something so warm and so tight and so glorious that he was afraid he would black out. He steadied himself with another deep breath. He swore he could feel her thighs trembling. “Are you close, Katniss? Because I am. I want to feel you but I don’t want to finish, so you can’t move much. Just rock a little bit so I can feel you around me.” He clenched his teeth when she moved what felt like millimeters. He swore he could feel the movement all the way to his toes.

He wrestled for control of himself and pushed away the mental image of his hands gripping her hips and guiding her to take all of him inside of her over and over. “I want you to…to touch yourself. Like before.  I want to hear you when you come apart, knowing that I am right in front of you.”

Peeta tried to quiet his own breathing so he could hear her gasps after she moved off of him. When she whispered his name, he almost stood up and stumbled his way to the desk to find her and bury himself in her softness. “Peeta,” she repeated tremulously, “I don’t want to…without you.” She fumbled off of the desk and pushed his thighs apart slightly, then sank onto him.

Someone sobbed – he wasn’t sure who made the sound – because he was too fixated on the sensation overtaking him.  There was friction that was not normally there and he concentrated all of his energy on holding back until he could feel her lose control. She tightened around him, the extra friction making him cry out until he was flying with her, flying down the mountain with her.

## The Reaping

“Good morning, Haymitch!” John Mellark’s voice rang out strong and clear. John had been greeting customers the same way for some thirty odd years.

It made Haymitch’s head hurt and he frowned in response. “Morning.”

“Get you a cup of coffee? Maybe a danish?” John gestured to the bakery cases filled with delectable confections.

“Coffee, black. And an apple fritter.”

“Good choice! Those are still warm.” John bagged the purchase. Sliding it across the counter, he said, “It’s on the house. I mean, since I hear that you are the house.”

Haymitch met his eyes, clearly unsurprised that John had heard about his purchase of the bakery. “Do you have a minute to talk? Privately?”

A little bit of the light went out of John’s eyes as he nodded and called to the teenager working the back to cover for him.

They sat. Finally John gestured to Haymitch’s fritter. “You should go ahead and eat that. They’re better warm.”

“They’re pretty damn good even when they’re a day old and you know it.” Haymitch scoffed, but opened the bag and bit into the pastry. He did not wait to swallow before he said, “Your boy assured me that you were leaving town once the bakery was sold.”

John sat back in his seat. “So it is true: you’re the buyer.”

Haymitch nodded and took another bite of pastry.

“Why would you do that?” A frown crossed John’s face. Haymitch didn’t think he had ever seen his normally jovial face with a frown on it.

Haymitch brushed the crumbled glaze off of his black t-shirt and daintily dabbed his mouth before taking a large sip of coffee. When he was done, he said, “Because someone helped me once. And because your boy is with my girl. They’ve found the real deal and I want a happily ever after for them, which means that you need to clean up your act or leave. Or both. Doesn’t matter to me.” Haymitch shrugged.

“Why would I leave? My debts are paid. The sale of the bakery puts a little cash in my pocket. Maybe you and I could work something out where I stay and get to work here.”

“Word on the street is that you’re racking up new debts. And since your past one was paid by me, and your bakery is now owned by me, I think that gives me a vote in whether you stay or go.”

John laughed. “You don’t own me, Haymitch. I appreciate the favor, but I really didn’t need it. I have it handled.”

Haymitch leaned forward in his seat. “Had it _handled_? You are either brainless or you have a bigger case of denial than I ever did. Snow was going to put you down like a stray dog: you had no credit, no resources, and no hope. What about your boy? What do you think was going to happen to Peeta when a tragic accident befell you? I stepped in because I was your last resort and I didn’t want to see your boy left with nothing. And I’m damn well not going to watch you wreck life for him and Katniss. What do you think is going to happen now if you don’t clean up?”

“I’m fine, Haymitch.”

“Bull-fucking-shit, John. You’re not fine. Don’t try to sell me that line because I’ve heard it – hell, I’ve _said_ it. You haven’t gone to meetings for months and you’re not seeing a counselor. You are, however, still playing cards with an unsavory group of characters who would think _nothing_ of hurting you or those you love.” John’s face reflected disbelief and shock. Haymitch was having none of it. “In case you haven’t noticed, Peeta is a good kid. He deserves better and he loves you. If you can’t or won’t do it for yourself, do it for him. I’m here offering help, man.”

John’s mouth opened and closed. Finally, he said quietly, “I just need one more game to get ahead, Haymitch. One more. Peeta won’t need to know until I can show him the money. Think of the things I could do for him Haymitch! Buy back the bakery. Buy him and Katniss a house. He could go to any college, have any car…”

Haymitch interrupted. “All this time, I thought it was your wife. I thought she might have hit you too because she was a raging cunt. I thought that that you, deep down, genuinely cared about your family but you just couldn’t show it because of her. I think I was wrong: you were the selfish one all along. You just used her to cover it up for you. We were all so fixated on her…” Haymitch shook his head, stood up and made his way to the door.

When John stopped him, his voice was plaintive. “I love my family, Haymitch. We can’t all be as strong as you, though. I thought you would understand. You still drink. Why can’t I still gamble?”

Haymitch looked back at the unhappy baker. “John, I am telling you that I lost everyone I loved, _everyone,_ to Snow once. Now I keep my problems limited so that the only thing that suffers is my liver. I’ll tell you this: I would give every last drop of alcohol, take every minute I spent boozing it up or gambling to see them again _just one more time_. Just once. You think about what you have to lose and what your life would be life without it, and consider my offer.”

\--o--

“Haymitch, do you have a minute?” Peeta knocked tentatively on the door to Haymitch’s office and was rewarded with a heavy sigh from inside.

“Come on in, boy.” Haymitch poured himself another drink as he stared at the tired looking man in front of him. Peeta had circles under his eyes and his skin was paler than usual. “To what do I owe this visit?”

“I need some advice about my dad. I think…I think he’s gambling. He keeps putting off leaving and I think I’ve caught him lying about meetings…”

“Is that why your sleepovers have stopped? And here I thought it was just concern for my tender ears.” Haymitch had overheard an argument between Katniss and Peeta the week before about Peeta staying the night.

Peeta frowned. “Yes. I wanted to be home more for him. But there’s more. I…” Peeta turned his head to the long window across from the desk. to look at the mountain. He took a moment to compose himself and when his voice drifted back to Haymitch it was flat, dispassionate. “I went to the bank today. I’m a signer on his checking and savings accounts because of the business and I went to check the balance and get cash. Except…” Peeta swallowed audibly. “Except that it was gone, Haymitch. All of it.” He turned to Haymitch, his face a bleak mask of despair. “Our entire savings is just gone. I don’t know what he did with it…what does someone do with fifty thousand dollars?”

Haymitch stared at Peeta. Finally, he shook himself out of his stupor. Shaking the ice cubes in his glass, he said, “So what are you going to do now?”

Peeta thought for a minute. “I want to leave, with Katniss, like I had planned. I had it all thought out: the first night in Boston, I was going to propose at this great little restaurant in North Boston. And she would be happy, you know? She would laugh her beautiful laugh and her eyes would shine …” He pulled a dog-eared brochure out of his pocket. Crossing to the desk, he slid it across to Haymitch.

“Niagara Falls?” Haymitch read aloud.

“You gave me the idea…you said we should elope. I thought it would be romantic. What do I do, Haymitch? It’s an impossible choice: I love my dad and I love Katniss too. I want to stay here and help him, but I want to get on with my life.  It will crush me to stay here and know that I am putting the rest of my life on hold...” His eyes filled with frustrated tears.

“If you stay, what are you going to be able to do for him? No offense, boy, but he’s turned away better offers of help. You can’t drag him to meetings or make him talk to someone. You’ve already shown that watching over him like a child isn’t going to do the trick.” Haymitch shrugged. “If you go, maybe he’ll turn around because he’s alone…it’s impossible to predict.”

“What if he doesn’t, Haymitch? What if I leave knowing I could have helped him but didn’t?” Peeta sat and put his head down on the desk.

Haymitch watched the crying man for a minute in silence and then left the room.

\--o—

He found Katniss in the laundry room folding clothes. “You look angry, sweetheart.”

She impaled him with her gaze. “I don’t need your crap right now, Haymitch. I’ve been texting Peeta all day and he hasn’t texted me back. It’s been weird enough that he won’t stay over, but now he’s not speaking to me.” She snapped a towel vehemently.

Haymitch frowned at her. “Did you ever think that it might not be about you?” He laughed when she paused in her folding. “Yeah, sweetheart. The earth does not revolve around Katniss Everdeen. Not even for that boy. By the way, he’s in my office.”

Relief immediately flashed in Katniss’s eyes. She hastily wadded the rest of her laundry into the basket and hefted it up before she felt Haymitch’s restraining hand on her arm. “What?” She said impatiently.

Haymitch looked more serious than Katniss had seen him in a long time. “He’s…Katniss, he’s upset.”

\--o--

Katniss rushed to Peeta’s side when she saw him slumped over Haymitch’s desk. “What did you do to him?” She questioned Haymitch as she knelt in front of him.

He sighed heavily. “Nothing. Why would you think this is my fault? You need to get him out of here.”

Katniss gaped. “Leave? What are you talking about? Haymitch, what’s going on?”

 “…I mean you kids need to get in a car and go. Leave. Right now. Tonight. Something’s going to happen and I need you to get that boy far away from this mountain before it does.”

“Where would we go? It’s not like we have a place to stay or anything…” She watched Haymitch pull a worn brochure out of his pocket. “Haymitch, that says Niagara Falls.”

Peeta looked up from the desk with eyes that were red-rimmed and puffy in time to catch Haymitch’s comment. His face twisted as if he were in pain and shook his head. “No…”

Haymitch ignored him. “It’s a seven hour drive. You’re going to do whatever you have to do to get him in the car. You’re going to drive there and keep him there until I call you to come back.”

Katniss looked from one of them to the other. “…But…”

“I said _whatever_ it takes, sweetheart. You get my drift? Shake your ass. Hell, marry him; you’ll never find another one who’s willing to put up with your shit anyway. Just stay away from the mountain.” He noticed her wide eyes. “Am I scaring you? Good. This is serious.”

Katniss threw a dirty look at Haymitch and rubbed Peeta’s shoulder. Her voice, when she addressed him, was gentle. “Peeta, it’s going to be okay. Maybe we should listen to him.”

He shook his head again. “No. Not like this.”

She touched his face reverently. “I want to be with you.” She kissed him gently, lingering on his lips and trailing across his cheeks. “Come away with me?”

His troubled blue eyes met hers. “I had a plan, Katniss. It was going to be so perfect…”

She kissed him again. “I’ve told you before that I would rather be with an imperfect Peeta Mellark than dream about a perfect one.” She tugged his hand until he stood and handed him a tissue from Haymitch’s desk.

Peeta stared at the desk, lost in thought for a minute and jaw clenching. He took a depth breath as if coming to a decision and took both of Katniss’s hands in his own. “Katniss, I love you. You know that right?” She nodded. “And I…I want to be with you, you know that, right?” Again, she nodded. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and leaned his forehead against hers before quietly asking, “Marry me?”

Katniss’s eyes grew wide for a moment before her lips came crashing down on his. The broke apart breathlessly. “Is that a yes?” He asked. When she nodded, he slid his grandmother’s diamond solitaire onto her trembling hand.

“Are you kids about done? I can’t have you in here spoiling my dinner. I’m going to call ahead and pay for your room. Here’s a thousand bucks to get you there and get settled. I’ll wire you more if and when you need it. You drive straight through and you can get there tonight.”

Peeta just continued to stare at Katniss. “We’re really doing this? For real?”

Her smile was luminous. “Yes.”

\--o—

Katniss leaned over and gently touched Peeta’s cheek with her left hand. The diamond she wore sparkled in the dome light of the car. “Peeta?  Peeta…wake up.” His blinked sleepily.

Peeta sat up and slowly looked around at the Inn, not five hundred feet from their parked car. “Where are we?” He said.

“We’re here. You’ve slept for a couple of hours.” At his protest that she should have woken him up to drive, she said, “You were so peaceful I didn’t want to wake you.” They stared at each other quietly. The way he was looking at her made a blush steal across her cheeks.

He reached a hand up around her neck to pull her close. “We’re doing this? We’re really doing this?” He searched her eyes with his as she nodded and then captured her lips in a lingering kiss. “I love you, Katniss.”

Katniss rested her forehead against his. “I love you, Peeta Mellark. So much.”

They hastily gathered their few belongings: Katniss’s purse, a duffle bag hastily thrown together at the lodge, a Walgreens bag of toiletries that they had purchased in Utica when they stopped for gas and crossed the brick to the front steps. Entering the Inn, Peeta let Katniss check in with the innkeepers while he checked messages. His phone flashed that he had four voicemails. He fumbled with his phone while they walked up the stairs to their room and smiled his thanks at the innkeepers, especially when he spotted the bottle of champagne and two glasses resting on the bureau with a platter of fresh fruit and cheese. He silently sent his thanks to Haymitch.

He hit the button sequence to retrieve voicemail and put the phone on speaker while he took off his shoes.

 “Peeta, this is dad.” Peeta laughed at the fact that his dad saw fit to tell him who it was – as if he would not recognize his dad’s voice. ”I got your text about you and Katniss. Son, I’m so proud of you, so happy. I know how much you love her and I just want to say that I wish the two of you every happiness.” Peeta heard tears in his dad’s voice. “I’m not sure why you thought you needed to elope, but you’re a man now and the two of you are starting out on a new life together. I just…I wish I could see you take this step. I love you so much, son. Never forget that. I’ll talk to you soon.”

Katniss put her arms around him as he paused, a smile so wide on his face that he thought his cheeks might split. He rubbed her left hand with his while he saved the message, then moved to the next.

He heard his dad’s voice again, this time happier than he had heard him in a long time. “Peet? Dad here. Just wanted you to know that I’m at a game and this time I’m winning! I know you were at the bank today, but I don’t want you to worry. I’m gonna do all kinds of stuff with the money I’m winning tonight after I pay off a few debts. Things are finally turning around for me and it looks like my slump is over! You and Katniss are gonna have the best wedding present when you get back! Now go get started on some grandchildren for me to spoil! Love you!”

He turned to face Katniss, clearly concerned about his dad’s admission. Katniss, however, looked shocked at the mention of grandchildren. He hugged her to him and rested his chin on her head while he advanced to the next message.

His dad whispered urgently, “Peet, son, dad here. Uh, son, I think I’m in real trouble. I really screwed up, Peet. I…I should have listened to you. I regret…I regret so much, son. I wish I could have been a better man. I wish I had listened to Haymitch. I…I love you. I know I could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve a son as good as you. I’ve got to go, they’re coming.”

Katniss looked up at him in alarm. His jaw clenched as he advanced to the next message.

It was obviously a pocket dial from the background noise which sounded like mumbling and breathing, like someone was running. A door slammed and shoes squeaked on a floor, then another door closed. It was quiet for a moment and Katniss stole a look at Peeta to gauge his reaction. A muscle in his jaw jumped as he heard a scuffle. The sound of crying could be heard clearly, followed by a single, loud, staccato “no”.

Peeta was already trembling when the gunshot rang out.

Katniss held him upright as he sank to the carpet. There was more noise as footsteps approached and new voices spoke.

“Is he dead?” There was an echo, as if that person were standing further away from the phone. Without a doubt, though, Katniss was sure that it was Snow’s voice. There must have been some sort of non-verbal response to the question because the same voice became louder as if moving closer and answered, “Excellent job, as always, Mr. Wallace. Nice and clean. It’s a pity that no one will be allowed to appreciate your finesse but we need to send a message to Haymitch that I do not take his threats lightly. Burn it down.” Footsteps rang out, then a door closed. A strange sloshing could be heard and then silence until a strange crackling grew louder and louder.

Katniss finally ended the recording and put her arms around Peeta as he rocked back and forth. Neither spoke for a long time. Katniss got a cool cloth and wiped his face, then handed him a cup of water which he drank greedily.

“We need to go back. Right now.” His voice was hoarse, desperate.

Katniss nodded. “Peeta, I’m…”

He cut her off. “Don’t. Please. I can’t…I can’t think about it right now. Let’s just get in the car and go.”

“I’ll go wake the innkeepers and take the first shift.” Katniss said quietly.

“No. I’ll drive. I’m better rested than you are and I need to do something…so I don’t think about what we just heard.” He ran a hand through his hair.

## Waiting for Spring

Katniss awoke to the sight of emergency crews cleaning up outside the bakery, the carnage long over. Drops of water glistened on the charred shell of bakery in the early morning light. Peeta’s car door was open and rested against the curb and he was arguing with a young man in a police uniform who was gesturing to the bakery and obviously holding Peeta back from going inside.

Katniss rubbed her hands over her face to wake herself up. By the time she was out of the car, Haymitch had his hand on Peeta’s arm and was guiding him away from what had once been the front entrance. Haymitch smelled of smoke. Stubble was even more apparent than usual and his bloodshot eyes spoke of more than alcohol. It was obvious that he had been on the scene for some time.

“Haymitch. I’ve got nothing to say to you.” Peeta jerked his arm away and stumbled in the opposite direction. He stopped a few hundred feet away and bent over, face crumbling in grief.

Haymitch stalled Katniss from following. “Let him go for a minute. He needs to think.”

“Think? He’s been thinking for six hours! Haymitch, what happened?”

“John Mellark lost his shit. He took everything out of the bank, went to a game looking for a big score, and got in over his head. They found him here and shot him. How’s the boy?”

“How do you think he is?” She paused as she watched Peeta sob. “Who did this?”

Haymitch looked at her. “Who do you think did this?”

Katniss shook her head. “We’ve got to do something.”

Haymitch grabbed her arm. “No. No we don’t. I told you once, sweetheart, that you don’t mess with these people. This is exactly what happens when you do.” He motioned to the burnt bakery.

\--o--

Haymitch found Peeta hiding out behind the church hall, taking a break from all of the condolences and well wishes.  It seemed that everyone in town had wanted to tell him a story about his dad and although it made him feel good, it also made him want to cry. Peeta was tired of crying. He was tired of eyes that were red and dry from too many tears in too short a time. Eyes that hurt every time he blinked, reminding him with the itching and burning of all that was lost to him.

“How’re you holding up?” Haymitch asked. He was greeted by a stony silence. “Lovely service. Your speech was very moving.” He was rewarded by a look from Peeta so he sat down on the bench beside him.

“I’m just glad there was enough of him to bury.” Peeta voice was bitter, wobbling on the last word before he clamped his jaw tight and wrestled for control.

Haymitch nodded in agreement. “He was a good man. He loved you very much.” Again, silence greeted the statement. He sighed heavily. “Look, this isn’t easy, I get that. But Katniss has been worried sick about you. You won’t return her calls or texts and you won’t let her help you. You’re shutting her out.”

Peeta gripped the edge of the bench tightly, jaw clenching and unclenching. “Help? She wanted to help me? How about before he died, Haymitch? Did she want to help all of those nights when I was with her instead of looking out for him?!”

Haymitch casually took a flask from the inside pocket of his sport coat. Taking a sip from it, he considered the man in front of him. “Boy, that is bullshit and you know it. You were young and in love. You still are. You wanted a life of your own, not trailing around after your old man. Besides, he wouldn’t have wanted you hovering over him. And what makes you think it would have helped?”

Peeta rounded on him, blue eyes colder than a glacier and hotter than the sun. “Who do you think you are, Haymitch? You think you know me? Or my dad? This is your fault too. If you and Katniss hadn’t bailed him out, if I had gotten him out of here the first time, he would still be alive. He would still…be…alive.” Peeta sucked in deep breaths, trying not to weep. “And if you hadn’t bought the bakery, he wouldn’t have had that money, Haymitch. He wouldn’t have gambled that night.”

Haymitch took another drink and considered his words carefully. “You have no idea what he would have done. Have you ever felt the high of a streak? Felt like you could take on the world and were invincible and no one would ever be able to beat you? No? I didn’t think so. It’s a compulsion. Think of the thing you can’t live without… can’t even breathe without doing every day. It’s like that. It’s so strong that not even a threat to every single person you love is stronger than it. Can you even imagine that? Can you?”

Peeta shook his head and said quietly. “I just know that I can’t imagine life without him. I keep picturing him, alone, in the bakery, not even realizing that I could hear him in those last moments of his life. What was going through his head? I want to make those bastards pay for what they did. They took him, Haymitch. They stole him from me.”

 “That’s a line you don’t want to cross, believe me. Do you want to end up the same way as your dad? You cannot go head to head with these people.” Haymitch noticed Katniss rounding the corner to where they were seated. More importantly, he noticed the way that Peeta’s eyes lingered longingly on her face even as his hands clenched as he followed her approach as well. “Do you want to take her down with you? At least think of her.”

Peeta’s eyes narrowed and his voice rose so that it carried to her, wiping the tentative smile off her face. “Think of her, Haymitch? Think of her? It seems all I’ve been doing is thinking of her. If we hadn’t gotten back together, if I hadn’t been thinking with my dick instead of my head, if we hadn’t run away that night, he would still be here.”

Katniss stopped in front of Peeta. “What did you just say?”

Peeta did not even have the grace to look sheepish. He stood in front of her, hands clenching and unclenching, breathing hard. His eyes were steely as they confronted her. “You heard me.”

She looked at Haymitch then back at Peeta, saying in a low voice full of emotion. “You’re just upset. You don’t mean it.”

Peeta shook his head. “No, Katniss, I mean it. I shouldn’t have been in that car with you. I shouldn’t have been with you at all. It was all a mistake.”

They stared at each other, angry blue clashing with hurt gray eyes. Finally, Katniss laid a hand on his arm but he shrugged her off angrily.

Haymitch glared at the younger man. “Stop this right now. She saved your fucking life. First on the mountain, then in that car. I think you need to cool off for a while, so Katniss and I are going to head back to the lodge. Before you make any rash decisions about your next steps, remember that people care about you. You may have a death wish right now, but someday you may snap out of this. The pain never goes away completely, but it will hurt less over time. Come on, sweetheart. Let’s give Peeta some time and space to reflect.”

Haymitch was already turning away, already focused on the drive home and a drink when Katniss turned back to Peeta. “No, Haymitch. I’m not leaving him. Peeta, do you have something to say to me?” She squared her jaw as if bracing for a blow but remained steady and unafraid.

Peeta colored slightly, fists still clenching. “This is your fault. Yours. Haymitch told you to shake your ass to get me in that car. And you did. And it worked. I was so weak, letting you lure me away from him. If I hadn’t been so distracted by the thought of getting my dick wet…”

The crack of her hand against his face was as loud as a bullet and her voice vibrated with fury. “Don’t you ever, _ever_ , talk about us like that. Don’t you dare. I know you’re upset but I don’t even know who you are right now. “She took a deep breath and repeated it more slowly, “I don’t even know who you are. But when the Peeta that I love comes back, you tell him that I’ll be waiting.”

\--o—

“Katniss, darling, might I have a word?” Effie Trinkett stood at the door to the lodge. Her hair was impossibly well coiffed, her make-up impeccable. The hand she held out to Katniss ended in red nails painted with tiny pink hearts that exactly matched her pantsuit and lipstick. Katniss had never actually seen Effie on skis. She thought, not for the first time, that Effie was the most unlikely ski patrol leader on the planet. “Come with me dear.” Her grip on Katniss’s arm guided her to a sunny table on the lodge’s patio.  Effie settled into her patio chair with a sigh. “It’s been so long since we’ve talked, just us two. I think we can agree that Haymitch does get in the way of good girl bonding time.”

Katniss shivered at the idea of girl bonding time with Effie. She wasn’t exactly sure what that would entail, but it sounded painful. She made some non-committal noise that must have sounded to Effie like assent.

“Now, I’ve noticed that you’re not wearing your engagement ring.” Effie motioned to Katniss’s left hand, which sat on the table. Katniss hastily moved it to her lap. Effie laughed. “Katniss, dear, there’s nothing to hide. I understand your young man has been giving you absolute fits lately. But a beautiful diamond is a terrible thing to waste. You didn’t do something foolish like give it back, did you?”

Katniss shook her head. Her voice, when she answered was thick. “No. I just…I put it away.” She did not add that she hadn’t even seen Peeta since the funeral so the opportunity to give it back had not materialized.

Effie’s blue eyes sparkled like the jewels dangling from her earrings. “Ah. You’re not giving up on him, are you?”

“Effie, this is really personal…”

Effie cut her off. “Have you ever wondered why I am on this Godforsaken mountain?” When Katniss’s eyebrows crashed together, Effie trilled a laugh. “Of course you have. It’s perfectly alright to admit. Why would I be here and not in Boston or New York? Especially putting all this effort into looking like this when not a soul appreciates it? Yet here I am, year after year. It truly boggles the mind, does it not?”

Katniss’s nod was not really necessary. It was obvious that Effie was on a roll.

“I too had a young man once. He made me mad with passion and longing. He challenged me at every turn .My parents did not approve at all.” Effie laughed at the memory. “They kept telling me that he was a bad influence and that I could do better. They were worried about my reputation, my education, my future. Everything but my heart and soul. So foolish of them, don’t you think? He wanted to make his own way or perhaps prove to my family that he could provide or be worthy of me and he fell into a spot or two of trouble. Big trouble. Much like Peeta’s father. The difference is that my young man won. He won big. And he kept winning until some very bad people took notice that he was wrecking their well-laid plans. He tried to protect me by breaking up with me – so stubborn, he was – but I would have none of it. If you ask him, he will tell you that he fought those bad men with all he had. I stood by him even when he didn’t want it and even when he pushed me away. Especially at those times, I found ways to let him know that I was with him. We women have to be stronger than the men in our lives, especially when they believe they know what’s best, don’t you agree? He will say that I bailed him out of a bad situation. I disagree. I think I just helped him to see that there was something worth living for and that we could be happy and full of joy as long as we were together. And now we run this lodge together.”

Katniss just stared at the older woman. _Was she talking about Haymitch?_

“Oh, dear. Don’t look so shocked. Haymitch was a hot commodity when he was your Peeta’s age. My point is that you have the power to show Peeta that joy, true joy, comes from overcoming adversity together. Don’t you give up on him just because he is pushing you away, no matter how much you want to. Making a life together means you can count on each other to be there, always.” There was an awkward pause where Effie obviously thought Katniss would chime in with something. “Well, I’m sure I’ve given you some things to think about.”

Katniss surprised herself by croaking out, “But it wasn’t enough, Effie. Everything I did. All the sacrifices that I made for him. All the times I was there for him. It wasn’t enough.”

“I can see how you might see it that way. You did sacrifice and mobilize quite a lot of resources for him. However, dear, don’t forget how much time and energy and faith he put into it as well; he chose you over his family – his own blood – almost the whole way.”

“Almost.” Katniss said bitterly.

“Ah. Are you going down the path of _every love story has an unhappy ending eventually?_ Because that’s Haymitch’s line, not yours. Yes, it can certainly feel that way. Let me ask: why do you stay on the mountain, Katniss?”

Katniss thought for a moment, unsure of how to put what she felt into words. “I guess…because it’s beautiful here. It changes all the time. I’m never bored.”

Effie’s eyes flashed as she nodded in understanding. “Yes. Long relationships are like that too. They have subtle changes much more often than really big ones.” She saw the confusion on Katniss’s face. “My point, dear, is that your Peeta is alive and drawing breath, as are you. Don’t give up on the promise of spring just because there is a late season snowstorm. Spring still comes in its time. We just need to be patient and wait for it.” Effie reached over and patted Katniss’s arm. “Now, would you like to go get a manicure, my treat?”

“No…Thanks. You’ve given me a lot to think about.” Katniss paused and then looked back with pained disbelief at Effie. “You and Haymitch? Really? But you’re never even _together_.”

Effie’s laugh tinkled across the space. “I could see how that would be confusing. Our relationship is as much about the spaces between us as it is about the times we are together. Haymitch needs to be wild on the mountain some days just as much as I need structure: we strike a balance that works for us. Don’t let anyone decide what your relationship _should_ be. Only you can do that. Besides, absence makes the heart – and other things – grow fonder.” Effie gave Katniss a wink.

To her credit, Katniss’s shudder was only barely visible.

\--o—

“Boy, I know you’re in there.” Haymitch heard a sudden bang and then swearing. “Come on, answer the door or I’ll just yell what I have to say from out here.”

The door opened a crack and a frazzled blue eye met Haymitch’s gray ones. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

Haymitch pushed inside the house. “I know you think I’m a prick. And you may not have anything to say to me, but I have something to say to you.” Haymitch took a look around the immaculately clean house. The morning dishes in the sink and a drop cloth in the living room underneath an easel and canvas were the only evidence that Peeta lived there at all.

Haymitch studied the painting for a moment. Done in shades of black, red, and gray, it looked like a dark shadow cowering below two other, darker ones. Rage and fear were palpable, rolling off the thick dollops of paint on the canvas. “This is how you spend your time?” Haymitch gestured to the paint supplies.

“I do it when I can’t sleep, which is pretty often. What can I do for you, Haymitch?” Peeta ran his hands through the stubble on his chin. Haymitch noticed that it looked as if he hadn’t slept or showered in a couple of days.

“It’s been months. Are you talking to someone?”

Peeta laughed, a dry, brittle sound. “No. Who would understand?”

“You can’t just stay cooped up here forever.”

“I can until the life insurance money runs out,” was Peeta’s angry response.

Haymitch squeezed the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t come here to fight. I have a proposition for you.”

Peeta’s eyebrow shot to his hairline as Haymitch pulled an envelope out of his pocket. “What is it?”

Haymitch held it out. “Open it and see.”

“This is the deed to the bakery.” Peeta’s look was one of incomprehension.

Haymitch nodded. “Yeah. I was going to give it to you as a wedding gift…take it.”

Peeta’s face twisted for a moment as if in pain. “I can’t believe you actually bought it.” He shook his head. “I can’t take it. You own it fair and square.”

Haymitch squeezed the bridge of his nose. “We both know that I have no idea how to run a bakery. I know even less about rebuilding one.” He shrugged. “It’s in your blood – I figured if anyone would want it, it would be you. How about partners? Fifty fifty, you work off the deed?” When Peeta remained silent, Haymitch asked, “Does that mean you’re not sticking around?”

Peeta stared at the piece of paper in his hand and said distractedly, “I’m not sure yet. I contacted the prosecutor about the voicemail that we have of my dad…”

“Ah. Going up against the big boys?

“He has to pay, Haymitch.” Peeta’s eyes were clouded in pain.

“Well, you hold onto that. When you decide what should be done with it, you let me know.” Haymitch walked past him.

“Wait. Haymitch, wait… what about Katniss?”

“What about her?”

“How…how is she?” Peeta swallowed hard.

“Come up the mountain and find out.”

Peeta closed his eyes. “I can’t. I was an ass at the funeral. She’s got to hate me by now.”

Haymitch dropped his eyes to the paper in Peeta’s hands. “You help me out with the bakery, I’ll help you with Katniss. Think about it.”

\--o—

Surprisingly, it was Katniss who made the first move. When she read about Peeta’s testimony, she sent him a note that simply said, “Congratulations.” He responded by sending her a pencil drawing of two people skiing down the mountain. She wasn’t sure what it meant, but she hung it above her desk where she could see it every day. When she heard about the bakery being rebuilt, her note said, “Can’t wait to try the new Mellark’s.” His response was a drawing of a cupcake. When he wrote “I miss you” on a Mellark’s box filled with cupcakes the day the new bakery opened and sent it up the mountain, she finally texted him a picture of a smiley face drawn in frosting on her mirror. He sent her a painting of the cave that was so realistic that she almost cried when she opened it with a note that simply said, “I think of you every day.”  She thanked him by singing his favorite song on his voicemail.

And so it went for months – an exchange of notes and drawings that did not mend the gap in their hearts completely but got them talking. They grew together slowly and cautiously, careful with each other in a totally new way.

 On the day that Snow was sentenced, Haymitch sent Katniss up the mountain to check on some of the trails to check for flooding and other summer weather damage. It was a brisk and cloudy fall day and Katniss made sure she wore a sweatshirt with her jeans. Her phone was safely in her pocket and she donned Effie’s emergency backpack before she hopped on the ATV and rode to the top of the ridge.

“Haymitch, this is Katiss, over.”

“Katniss, go ahead over.”

“Lunatic Fringe looks fine, over.”

“Check the Meadow, over.” When Katniss did not respond, Haymitch said again, “Katniss, did you hear me? Check the Meadow, over.”

“Haymitch, you suck, over.” Haymitch had to be aware that she hadn’t been there since Peeta’s rescue the winter before.

“Just check it out and be quick about it, I think it’s going to rain. Haymitch out.”

Katniss grumbled and put the walkie talkie back in her pack before making her way over to the clearing. She was filled with trepidation as she approached the Meadow and what she thought of as “their” cave. She did not want to confront the place that she had, perhaps, built up to be a place of fairytales.

…Except it was. Chinese lanterns in jewel colors lent a fanciful glow despite the gray gloom. Brightly colored satin cushions were strewn about and a thick quilt carpeted the grass. Candles ringed the area and a picnic was laid out invitingly on glass plates. Champagne bubbled effervescently in flutes. The mystery of the transformation was solved when she spied another ATV with Okemo Lodge markings. _Haymitch._

But when she noticed Peeta standing next to the cave entrance trying to gauge her reaction, she found it impossible to think of Haymitch or anything but him. She drank in the sight of him after so many months, memorizing his white button down collar shirt to his shoes and then relearning his face. She smiled at him as relief flooded his features. He motioned to the cushions and helped her to sit down.

“Hi.” Katniss said, blushing like the shy sixteen year old who was always unsure how to act around a gorgeous and popular Peeta Mellark. She wanted to cry, to laugh, to hit him for staying away for so long. Instead, she dropped her eyes to the plate in front of her.

“Hi, yourself.”

Katniss looked up at Peeta from under her eyelashes. “This is amazing. This must have taken awhile to put all of this together.”

Peeta nodded. “It did, but I wanted it to be perfect for you.”

Katniss thought back to all of those times when Peeta had said he wanted things to be perfect. She used to respond that it didn’t matter. It clearly did matter to him and in that moment, looking at what he had wrought in such a special place, his effort made her heart sing. She was suddenly so glad that he had tried again…

And it was perfect. She didn’t look at what he served, she was too fixated on him. Despite that, she was sure that it was delicious. His eyes flashed and sparkled as he spoke of testifying at the trial and how Snow turned out to be a small-time guy with little reach outside the boundaries of Ludlow, Vermont. The prosecutor thought that Snow would be away for quite some time and would not be bothering them again.

It made Katniss’s heart swell, the way he used the word “us”.

Peeta talked about the bakery – the rebuilding effort and working with Haymitch. Katniss was not aware that Haymitch had bought the bakery, so the partnership came as a surprise. She told him that she was proud of him for making a fresh start. For being brave and having new ideas.  He grinned at her when she said it.

By the time dinner was finished, Katniss was gazing at Peeta with a contented glow on her face. Peeta crossed the quilt and looked at her intently, as if he wanted to say something or kiss her. She sincerely hoped it was the latter.

“Katniss,” Peeta said, then paused and frowned. A second later, Katniss felt the first cold, fat raindrop, then another quickly followed.  They sat blinking at one another, then grabbed whatever they could carry and made for the cave as if they shared one single mind. Peeta made a second, then a third trip, finally grabbing Effie’s emergency pack and carrying it with an armful of candles.

Katniss looked at him – hair plastered to his head, water dripping off of his nose – and burst out laughing.

Peeta scowled. “You think this is funny? I wanted everything to be perfect.”

Katniss crossed to him, still chuckling. “Don’t you see, Peeta? This is perfect.” She kissed him gently and pulled back slightly to gauge his reaction. Was it ok for her to want him like this? Their lips crashed together but his hands were gentle as he caressed her cheeks and neck. Katniss’s hands fumbled with his shirt, fighting with buttons that were wet enough that they did not cooperate. Peeta grasped her hands, stopping their movement and Katniss broke the kiss.

“No, Katniss, This needs to be about you.” He pulled the sweatshirt over her head, throwing it on top of the picnic hamper. He slowly popped each shirt button free, peeling the damp material away from her skin. Leaning over, he warmed her with his breath and kissed a trail to the next button until he could tug it off of her. She shivered, leaning back against the rocks behind her and feeling them cut into her hands as she gripped.

“Please kiss me.” She asked. She had missed his mouth on hers and needed validation that this was really happening. That he was real.

Peeta leaned in and stroked his tongue across her bottom lip. She arched deeper into his mouth, not interested in short and teasing touches. His hands gripped her shoulders, then palmed her breasts through her bra.

Peeta’s breathing was heavy when the kiss broke. “Let me lay you down on those cushions. We have all the time in the world, Katniss. Let’s not rush this.”

Katniss popped the button and zipper on her jeans. Taking one of his hands in hers, she guided him under the material of her underwear, showing him what she wanted. She arched her neck back against the rocks “No. Please, like this.” She gasped. “We can…we can take our time…next time.”

Peeta’s brows furrowed. “You’re so wet.” His hands continued to move as she arched against him. “I’ve missed you so much.” He moved his hand away, making her whimper but it was only to remove the rest of her clothing. He palmed her again as he licked a nipple and bit gently. “I need to make this last so that you know how sorry I am…”

She stilled next to him, reaching to understand through the haze of desire. “No, Peeta. There’s nothing to forgive. We got through it. We’re getting through it.” She looked into his eyes, noting fear and pain and desire. “Don’t stop.” She whispered.

Peeta ran his hands down her body and grasped the swell of her hips. He dropped to his knees before her and ran a hand to the inside of her thigh, nudging her legs apart as he slid a finger inside of her. Her hands flexed on the rocks behind her as he moved her leg again, this time to rest on his shoulder. He slowly slid another finger inside of her and nuzzled her with his mouth. Katniss sobbed as he laved her with his tongue, refusing to speed up the pace despite the desperate movements of her hips. She found herself gripping his wet hair, grasping at his shoulders desperately in an attempt to gain relief. He suckled gently and moved his hands until his knuckles brushed against where his mouth was tracing hot and wet circles. He slowed the pace even more as she ground down onto him, gasping and crying for more.

He stood quickly and dropped his trousers, ripping a foil packet open before guiding her leg to rest on his hip. She was spread wide around him, flushed and aching when he slid slowly into her with a groan. She bit his shoulder as he adjusted her leg high around his waist, holding her backside so it would not rub against the rocks. He rocked into her again and again as she moaned and sighed and begged, scratching his chest with her nails in an attempt to bring him closer and faster. Finally, she rested her hands back on the rock ledge behind her.

Peeta sensed the change in her and lifted her against the rocks to thrust harder and deeper into her while she cried out his name. He let her wind down, then kissed her thoroughly, nuzzling the crook of her neck while he placed her feet back on the floor.

“But you didn’t finish…” Katniss sounded confused.

Peeta smiled. “I wanted this to be about you. Besides…Didn’t you say something about _next time_?”

They finally climbed into the emergency sleeping bag from the orange backpack after padding the floor with quilts and cushions. Neither bothered to get dressed, but Peeta did light some candles so he could see her as they talked. Katniss laughed as she cuddled against him, stroking where he nails had done the most damage.

“I should make Effie pack condoms in those emergency backpacks.” She said thoughtfully.

Peeta laughed. “You’re not insulted that I brought one along?”

She kissed his neck lingeringly. “No. I’m hoping you brought more than one or this may be the longest rainstorm of our lives.”

She could feel the rumble of his laughter below her lips. “Actually, I brought the entire box. Just in case.”

“It is always best to be prepared.” Katniss quipped.

Peeta broke the silence a short while later. “I still need to apologize for treating you like crap. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. It’s like I was a totally different version of myself.” He rolled over to face her. “But the Peeta that loves you is back. I’m back, Katniss. And I’m never going away again.” He kissed her, lingering on her lips.

“Good. Because I’m never letting you go, you know that, right?”

“Mmm. I like the sound of that.” It was quiet for a while longer as Katniss relearned the planes and hollows of his body with her mouth and hands. When she slid him inside of her, she watched his dear face in the candlelight, loving the way the light reflected off his eyelashes. Loving it more when he opened his eyes and met her gaze until the pleasure became too much and they each cried out.

Peeta laughed a breathless laugh afterward as his heartbeat returned to normal. “I should tell Haymitch we want to build a house right here.”

Katniss joined him. When the laughter faded, she propped herself on an elbow and traced one of his eyebrows. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

“I’m asking you to marry me. Even though it’s _still_ not perfect.” Peeta frowned.

Katniss flopped her head on his chest. “If this is your idea of not perfect, perfect might kill me.” She dropped a kiss on his chest. “But if you want to keep trying to get it just right, I suppose I’ll allow it.”

Peeta laughed tiredly. “I love you, you know. Thank you for waiting for me.”

“That’s what _always_ means, Peeta. It means waiting and hoping for spring even through a snowstorm or a rainstorm like this.” At his baffled look, she shook her head. “Never mind. I just mean that you’re worth the wait. I love you too.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Premise:
> 
> The entire premise for this story came from a plot bunny handed to me by Sighing39 while I was on vacation on the East Coast. It was snowing outside and she PM'd me to ask, "What if Katniss and Peeta were stuck in a cave in a snowstorm? – No cameras, No Capitol, No leg injury?" I evidently have a problem with actually finding a New England winter storm anything but cold and wet, so I had to build a larger plot.
> 
> There are a million plot holes and problems with this story; I kept telling myself not to overthink it while I was writing. Please, if anything annoyed you, know that it probably annoyed me too. I found it especially difficult to put something like a CSI/Law and Order spin on Snow's trial, and the casual way in which I barely covered it. Thank you, Sighing 39, for some help in that regard.
> 
> Locale:
> 
> Okemo is a lovely ski resort. We travelled there when I was a kid, before it became as large as it is today and as popular. It immediately came to mind when I needed a mountain resort. It is located near Ludlow, Vermont, a bustling resort town of under five thousand.
> 
> Niagara Falls was the logical romantic elopement location. The Poconos were a close second simply because there used be a Mount Airy Lodge commercial that used to play on late night TV when I lived on the East Coast.
> 
> I chose Boston as the city for their move because I know it better than Albany. It's a wonderful city with wonderful food. The North End/Little Italy is a great place for Italian food. If you have never visited this city, it's worth it. So much history, and you must have some seafood while you're there!
> 
> Playlist:
> 
> I listened to the following while writing this. Music was especially helpful while writing the love scenes. Unlike Building the Dream, which had an extensively diverse playlist, this one was mostly …um…love songs. (I use the term loosely – they are mostly "panty disintegrators", which probably contributed to some of the heat behind these love scenes.)
> 
> Maxi Priest – Close to You
> 
> Eagles – I Can't Tell You Why
> 
> R. Kelly – Ignition
> 
> Toni Braxton – Unbreak My Heart
> 
> Crazy Town – Butterfly
> 
> Muse – Madness
> 
> Justin Timberlake – Suit and Tie
> 
> Linda Ronstadt – Ooh Baby Baby, Blue Bayou
> 
> Jason Mraz – I Won't Give Up
> 
> Train – Marry Me
> 
> Rihanna – S&M
> 
> Jodeci – Come and Talk to Me
> 
> Inspiration and Trivia:
> 
> Peeta's tattoo (having a tattoo at all, really) is inspired by the fic Wear Your Heart on Your Skin. If you haven't read it, it's lovely and wonderful and made the idea of a tatted Peeta too irresistible to pass up.
> 
> Haymitch drinks scotch in this story because of my husband. His black t-shirts and love of baked goods are a homage to Cookies from Mellark's.
> 
> My brother is a paramedic. When I first wrote the beginning on this story, he and my husband ragged on me tirelessly about Peeta's potential head wound. (Doc wanted him to have a broken femur.)
> 
> I won't lie: I watched the cave sequence from the movie REPEATEDLY during The Cave chapter to get a vocal cadence to the dialogue. I just kept calling it "research".
> 
> I have a "Dog is Good" I Like Big Mutts shirt. It's awesome. I also have one of their It's all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone…" shirts. Great company, great product. (And no, I don't work there.)
> 
> Katniss seems to have an unending array of supplies in her room: condoms, baby oil, ribbon, ice cream sundae stuff. It's evidently a magical portal to another universe. The reality is that she gets the ice cream stuff from the kitchen. Everything else is stuff that I think would be fairly normal to have in a place with its own bathroom.
> 
> Snow's dialogue was the first time I've ever tried to use alliteration to produce characterization. I'm not sure how well I did. Did anyone pick up on it?
> 
> I know that "Dad" was lowercase in the original text. I should go back and fix that – My apologies.


End file.
